Crossroads of Twilight - Epilogue

The epilogue offers a rare opportunity to do a very detailed analysis of almost every word. My old friend Scartoe says that every word a writer chooses serves a purpose. Why is each word there? Why this word and not that one? The epilogue is 267 words long. First, read the full passage, then below, the analysis. In terms of action and plot, this is as simple as it gets. Rand is waiting for Bashere. Bashere enters and gives Rand the news he’s been waiting for.

Rand stared out of the window at the steady rain falling out of a gray sky. Another storm down out of the Spine of the World. The Dragonwall. He thought spring must be coming soon. Spring always came, eventually. Earlier here than back home, it should be, though there seemed little sign of it. Lightning forked silver-blue across the sky, and long moments passed before the peal of thunder. Distant lightning. The wounds in his side ached. Light, the herons branded into his palms ached, after all this time.

Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you’re alive, Lews Therin whispered, but Rand ignored the voice in his head.

The door creaked open behind him, and he looked over his shoulder at the man who came into the sitting room. Bashere was wearing a short, gray silk coat, a rich shimmering coat, and he had the baton of the Marshal-General of Saldaea, an ivory rod tipped with a golden wolf’s head, tucked behind his belt next to his scabbarded sword. His turned-down boots had been waxed until they shone. Rand tried not to let his relief show. They had been gone long enough.

“Well?” he said.

“The Seanchan are amenable,” Bashere replied. “Crazy as loons, but amenable. They require a meeting with you in person, though. The Marshal-General of Saldaea isn’t the Dragon Reborn.”

“With this Lady Suroth?”

Bashere shook his head. “Apparently a member of their royal family has arrived. Suroth wants you to meet someone called the Daughter of the Nine Moons.”

Thunder rolled again for distant lightning.

Short and powerful. Here’s the analysis:

Rand stared out of the window at the steady rain falling out of a gray sky. Another weather-as-mood analogy. Steady rain implies long unhappy times. Staring implies he’s been looking for a while, which makes it a better choice than ‘watching’ or ‘looking’. Another storm down out of the Spine of the World. Saying ‘another storm’ amplifies the rain to a concept of continual rain and bad times. Using ‘down’ adds to the negative mood. The Spine of the World evokes a forlorn place, much better than a storm out of Haddon Mirk, or elsewhere. The Dragonwall. He didn’t have to say Dragonwall at all here. It has a dual meaning here, referring to the walls Rand has erected in his heart. He thought spring must be coming soon. Now Rand is looking for hope, symbolized by spring. “He thought it must be” is a statement that almost guarantees the speaker is wrong. Spring always came, eventually. This sentence starts out as an affirmation, but ends with doubt. The word ‘eventually’ has more impact placed at the end of the sentence, where it can undermine the entire section that precedes it. Earlier here than back home, it should be, though there seemed little sign of it. The words ‘it should be’ again showing that Rand is wrong. This sentence is not necessary given the earlier part of the paragraph, but it introduces the concept of home, with associated feelings of warmth and comfort. The reference to home shows regret on Rand’s part. He wants to get back to a place of comfort and peace. Lightning forked silver-blue across the sky, and long moments passed before the peal of thunder. A sentence with no apparent relevance to the plot. At first glance it only describes the storm further. But the choice of words makes it resonate very closely with the mood being crafted. ‘Forked’ is used to evoke a choice. ‘Long moments’ pass to evoke waiting. ‘Peal’ is close to ‘appeal’.  Distant lightning. If the lightning represents the Light, then it is far, far away from Rand. The wounds in his side ached. The wounds are always a representation of the Shadow and of the evil that comes from fighting the Shadow at all costs. Light, the herons branded into his palms ached, after all this time. Another reference to a long period of unhappiness. His brands never really hurt before; this is about the burden that comes with those Herons. It shows Rand in a state of mind where the pain caused by the Shadow is no greater than the pain caused by the Light.

The first paragraph is thick with mood, showing Rand moping, waiting, faintly hoping. It tells us where the story is happening and a bit about the environment where this scene will take place.

Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you’re alive, Lews Therin whispered, but Rand ignored the voice in his head. Rand ignores Lews Therin like he would ignore his conscience. Lews Therin doesn’t ‘say’, he only whispers, indicating he is weak or timid. His idea is introduced with the word ‘sometimes’, as though he is scared to commit to an idea that Rand might dismiss. His tortured thought is still striving to find a bright side to the pain, but Rand won’t even allow that mild of a happy thought, which is a good direct example of his mood.

The door creaked open behind him, and he looked over his shoulder at the man who came into the sitting room. No knocks, no calls of “hello”, just a creaking door. Looking over his shoulder is an expression of mistrust. The man’s name isn’t given immediately, to heighten that mistrust. It could be anybody, maybe even an assailant. Bashere was wearing a short, gray silk coat, a rich shimmering coat, and he had the baton of the Marshal-General of Saldaea, an ivory rod tipped with a golden wolf’s head, tucked behind his belt next to his scabbarded sword. Bashere’s accessories convey wealth and power. His formal rank is given to remind the reader how powerful he is, which will be relevant soon. His coat shimmers, his rod is ivory and gold, all of which convey brightness and light. His sword and rod represent power, which is tucked away but ready at hand.  His turned-down boots had been waxed until they shone. Another representation of light and brightness. ‘Waxed’ has another meaning which implies he is in a state of fullness. ‘Turned-down’ and ‘boots’ have other meanings too, associated with rejection. Rand tried not to let his relief show. Rand’s first fully described emotion is relief. But he tries not to show it to the man he is relieved to see. They had been gone long enough. Is Rand worried they might have been captured or killed? Is he impatient to start his next endeavour? A blunt statement like this tells readers what Rand’s concern was, but provides no context, making it a mystery.

“Well?” he said. Using ‘said’ or ‘replied’ keeps the conversation normal. Normal for Rand is a vague monosyllabic demand which Bashere must interpret. Rand’s impatience and unreasonableness is conveyed powerfully by this single word.

“The Seanchan are amenable,” Bashere replied. Bashere also keeps the conversation normal. His response is blunt too, but uses a grandiose word. ‘Amenable’ implies the Seanchan can be persuaded or controlled. “Crazy as loons, but amenable. Loons have been used several times to describe crazy people, but lunatics only once, by Mat. The idea that they are crazy adds to the prejudice that Rand can control them. This sentence is the only one that gives an idea of what negotiations may be like. Without it, the conversation would be blander. They require a meeting with you in person, though. Persuading the Seanchan means meeting a condition or two. This is the first condition. The Marshal-General of Saldaea isn’t the Dragon Reborn.” This is the payoff for stating Bashere’s full title earlier. Despite his resplendent outfit Bashere isn’t who the Seanchan want.

“With this Lady Suroth?” Danger! Readers know she’s a Darkfriend.

Bashere shook his head.  The author could have just said no in the reply, but an action conveys the same and keeps this short discussion from being a pair of talking heads.  “Apparently a member of their royal family has arrived. Using the word ‘apparently’ shows Bashere doesn’t take everything the Seanchan say at face value. It’s a short way to convey that, because it would probably require a full sentence otherwise. Suroth wants you to meet someone called the Daughter of the Nine Moons.” This revelation should cause unease and confusion. It is uncertain whether this scene takes place long after Mat’s recent scene, so it is unclear whether Tuon is back in Ebou Dar. Using her title instead of her name adds to that confusion. ‘Someone’ makes the statement less precise, and may indicate more doubt from Bashere.

Thunder rolled again for distant lightning. Going back to the earlier metaphor, Rand is no closer to the Light than he was before, and the thunder has an ominous feel to accentuate the last paragraph’s revelation.

Robert Jordan isn’t always this crisp, so this epilogue is a pleasure to read.

Writing Lessons:

Every word a writer chooses serves a purpose.

The Path of Daggers - Chapters 25-27

In this section, Rand has been momentarily humbled, and a variety of bit players advance plots elsewhere in the world.

Elaida is trying to rule by decree as Rand just did in his War with the Seanchan. She too is finding it difficult to achieve absolute control over her followers. Whatever success she has in getting them to obey without question is reversed when Alviarin imposes her own decrees in Elaida’s name. Elaida’s decrees are so unimportant we don’t even get to see what they are, Alviarin simply tosses them out. The point is that their contents are irrelevant, all that matters is that they please the master. Alviarin faces the same dilemma with her limited ability to act beyond exactly what Mesaana commands her to do.

Messana, and therefore Alviarin also, wants to learn what Ajah heads are up to, and it is reasonable to expect some of the Sitters may be in on the secret, so the Black Sitter Talene prods a group of other Sitters to find out what Seaine and Pevara are up to in the basement of the Tower. Her plan backfires and she finds herself in the clutches of the expanded group of Black Ajah Hunters.

The revelation of this previously unsuspected Black Ajah attempts to convince the reader that hidden secrets are being exposed. We now know several of the highest-ranking Black Ajah and where they are hidden: Sheriam, Alviarin, Talene, Delana, Galina. A reader might rightfully assume that other Black Ajah remain hidden but are unlikely to be a threat to the heroes until they receive orders from one of these superiors.

The means by which the author created sympathy for the Black Ajah Hunters is common. Seaine herself is not standard hero material, nor is Pevara. But their quest is a heroic one, and that rubs off on them. When three new Sitters join the group by accidentally finding them and figuring out why they have closeted themselves with the Oath Rod, none of their personalities matter. Yukiri, Saerin, and Doesine have simple tags given to them, but they are forgettable. All that matters is that they take up the quest too, and all the reader’s sympathies encompass them as well. The only one of the group who stands out is Pevara, the ‘Good’ Red Ajah whose family was slaughtered by Darkfriends, such that both her and the reader’s desire for justice are also shared with the rest of the group. This technique may work with secondary characters such as this group, but would be much harder to pull off with your main heroes. Then again maybe not, there are plenty of stories with forgettable heroes who undertook memorable quests, where only one or two character traits matter.

More secrets are exposed as we learn that the Rebels’ ferrets in the Tower are discovered, and are also forcefully joined to the hunt for Black Ajah. We also learn that Logain made it to the Black Tower, when we see his group of Asha’man quickly disarm Toveine’s raiding party. There was no need to drag out this scene since its outcome had been ordained. Toveine’s failure is no surprise, since her approach to the Black Tower was no surprise either. The surprise comes from the fact the Aes Sedai are not merely captured, but also bonded to their captors.

Rand’s humbling experience against the Seanchan has him letting go of his anger over the Bargain his Aes Sedai made with the Sea Folk. He is also able to set aside his pride and need for control long enough to ask Cadsuane to be his advisor. His new humbler behaviour is instantly rewarded with pertinent advice about Callandor. This is similar to the scenes in Ebou Dar when Nynaeve put aside her attitude about Mat and almost immediately learned to control saidar and marry the man of her dreams. Juxtaposing the good behaviour with the reward links the two in the reader’s mind, and allows the lesson to become the expected outcome for other situations that arise. Cadsuane has managed to place herself near Rand to correct his attitude before the Last Battle. The imagery is like that presented by Moridin’s game of sha’rah. The Light holds the Fisher for now, but there is great danger if Cadsuane fails to make Rand feel something other than contempt towards his followers.

I found a few excellent sentences coloured with Robert Jordan’s unmistakable mark. Why use a word when a sentence will do? Each of these showed up in a familiar type of internal monologue, the kind where your mind wanders off-topic for a moment. The use of imagery instead of adjectives leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

No, she thought wryly, you’re not fluff-brained. Fluff has its wits about it compared to you!

If no longer exactly dewy-eyed, they were still young enough to leave their razors dry as many days as wet.

When a man decided to be stubborn, he would sit bare in a nettle patch and deny to your face that they made his bottom sting!

Writing Lessons:

Imagery is memorable. Use imagery to present concepts you want the reader to remember.

The Path of Daggers - Chapters 5-7

In this section, the heroines make a desperate escape while plotlines converge around Perrin.

Both Aviendha and Nynaeve apologize for their recent behaviour, though neither is warranted in Elayne’s view. Elayne is the leader in the group for now. She will hide it when they arrange for Nynaeve to do the demonstrations of linking, but her leadership is what keeps the Sea Folk in line when they need to flee the hilltop.

Participation in the circle using the Bowl of the Winds is based on strength, which provides a handy list of who is on par with our heroines. Sea folk include Talaan, Metarra, Rainyn, Naime, Rysael, Tebreille and Caire. Kin include Garenia, Reanne, and Kirstian. The use of circles and linking and bonding will be important in future battles, so this is an opportunity to present everything the reader needs to know on the topic.

There is some funny sexual imagery as Elayne and the others are abruptly dropped from the circle: She felt tired, if not anywhere near what she would have felt had she done anything beyond serve as a conduit, but what she felt most was loss. Letting go of saidar was bad enough; having it simply vanish out of you went beyond thinking about.  

Nynaeve has spent too much time trying to assert her worth over that of Alise, who has already organized the escape from the Farm. Aviendha is simply no good at making Gateways. So it falls to Elayne to weave, and then unweave the Gateway.

Aviendha uses a novel tactic, launching fireballs from a point of origin in front of the Gateway without being in that spot herself. As soon as she tires, the Seanchan erupt from the Gateway and shield Elayne, which abruptly ends the unraveling of the Gateway. The collapse of the weave causes a shockwave which devastates both ends of the Gateway. Having shared the risks Elayne took, Elayne realizes she is ready to embrace Aviendha as a near-sister, sister-wife or in any other relationship. Aviendha has now also seen Elayne in battle, and has a good opinion of her. Their bond may now be stronger than their romantic interest in Rand.

Rolling like a gambling wheel, they fell. This is when the raken is tumbling out of the sky. All kinds of objects roll, but choosing one that conjures luck, poor odds and uncertainty is brilliant.

Before his name appears, you can tell it’s Perrin’s point of view, as we see the forested hills hammered by a fierce morning sun. Perrin has a chance encounter with Morgase and her little group. These two converging plotlines should streamline the plot. Perrin’s simple approach to defending right and ending wrong can’t help but win readers over, despite that he is setting up future trouble for himself. The author chooses to understate the horror of what the Prophet’s men do, saving the revelation  for the very last: At first, Perrin did not know what he was looking at, a long loop of rawhide thickly strung with what appeared to be tags of shriveled leather. Then he did know, and his teeth bared in a snarl. “The Prophet would have our ears you said.”

Perrin’s current problem is approaching Queen Alliandre without putting Faile in danger nor offending her by sending her rival. Perrin reminds us that nothing is more important to him than Faile’s life and her perception of him. That’s twice that a blatant statement to this effect has shown up in the early part of a book.

His other objective is to deal with the Prophet, but more on that in the next post.

Writing Lessons:

When crafting your similes and metaphors, use terms that convey strong imagery and associated ideas.

The Great Hunt - Chapters 18-22

In this section, Rand tries the enemy’s path, and doesn’t like it.

Selene has been exhorting Rand to retrieve the Horn from Fain’s Trollocs, to seize the glory he deserves. Rand, drunk on the attention, does it. If he can just get that chest, he can have Selene too. Shrouded in the void that masks him from Fain’s senses, he and Loial enter the camp, and escape with the Horn. The loss of the dagger immediately wakes Fain, since its power makes his mind whole. Are the Forsaken done with Fain now that Rand has taken the Horn?In the void, the Power of saidin beckons to Rand. Desperate not to embrace it, Rand sticks to swordplay to defeat the handful of Trollocs barring their way. His desperation is such that he invites death in battle before he will touch it. And with each Trolloc he cuts down, he realizes that he can make do without it. The pressing need he has to touch saidin, to seize the Power, can be put off. And that triggers his revelation that he doesn’t want the Horn, or the glory it comes with. Selene is not happy; their honeymoon phase is over.

The swordplay imagery is an example of a few words telling the reader several different things. In three or four words, each form paints a motion, gives a feeling of defense or offense, and engages the reader’s imagination. The whole reveals a part of the world’s culture, and harkens back to the relationship between Rand and Lan.

By placing the ruby dagger inside the horn’s curl, Rand leaves himself a reminder about his purpose, in case he is ever tempted again. Selene contrives to stay in Rand’s company for a few days longer, hoping to have him cast away the dagger. She may want the horn, but she wants the Dragon more. When Rand accidentally taps into a sa’angreal’s power, he risks being consumed by the sheer power of saidin, causing Selene to promise anything, even giving up the Horn, to get Rand away from this danger. To win the struggle with that immense Power, Power to Break the World, Rand falls back again on his sense of self, and forges a link between his two ancestries.  Adoptive Manetheren, a bramble to the Dark One’s hand; and the Aiel, who spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last day. In this world, under many circumstances, knowing one’s self is a source of power and control.

By the time Selene leaves Rand’s side, he is more in control of his destiny than at any previous time in the novel. This is a high point, maybe the first in the book, where it feels like everything could work out fine. Getting the Horn and the dagger this early is a bit of a surprise, if not a plot twist.

Nynaeve learns that she too is exceptional. Readers already knew she could become one of the strongest Aes Sedai alive, but she can also recreate any weave that she sees. However, it is not strength the Aes Sedai value most, it is fortitude, which is the quality that Novice and Accepted training is designed to promote. Nynaeve and Egwene should have no problems in that regard, their personalities dictate their greatest risk will come from failing to accept the reduced freedom, lower rank, and restricted privileges of Novices and Accepted.

The scene where the Amyrlin teaches Nynaeve and Egwene is fun, because the heroines are faced with a challenge, and come out on top, with greater knowledge and power than they had before. Even as the future challenge of the White Tower looms, the reader is developing confidence in their ability to meet it.  The training of the girls is an effective way to also explain what Rand will be able to do with the One Power, and the types of weave he may face.  

Egwene’s dreams continue to be prophetic. Dreams are generally a contrived plot device in fiction, used for foreshadowing or to let the reader know what the character is concerned about. Once the rules of the World of Dreams get established, they feel less contrived. For now, Egwene is having dreams which show her exactly what is going on with Rand. Ba’alzamon sees her in the dream, and laughs at her. Laughs! Not only does Egwene see true in the dreams, she is filled with certainty about actions she should take, such as not telling Anaiya certain details of the dream. This certainty is part of the Pattern’s corrective mechanism, the same plot device that allows Elaida’s Foretellings, Min’s Viewings, Nynaeve’s Listening to the Wind, and the various ter’angreal that give visions of the future. These free-willed creatures require a lot of guidance.

Liandrin sends a warded Draghkar after Moiraine. Moiraine is after information that can help her, and her questions casually remind us that Toman Head waits in Rand’s future. Lan reflects on the reasons he has built a protective relationship with Rand, not realizing it may have to do with his love for Nynaeve. Moiraine knows, and has made arrangements for Lan to be taken care of, and have the possibility of his bond passing to Nynaeve if all works out. Protecting the Dragon is her end goal, but she is satisfied that she can also help out her Warder in doing so.

Writing Lessons:

Brevity forces you to use words that have more impact, and which can serve more than one purpose.