Towers of Midnight - Chapters 21-22

In this section, the chronology gets confusing.

When Perrin’s scouts report back, readers get their first strong inkling that Perrin’s storyline is chronologically out of synch with the other ones. The reader requires some thought to sort it out. Mat’s letter established the timing of his storyline, and his meeting with Elayne establishes her chronology as well, though oddly she hasn’t commented on Rand’s mood or location sufficiently to say whether events take place before or after the final scene of The Gathering Storm. Egwene’s and Rand’s scenes are obviously placed after The Gathering Storm.

The confusing order of events has been pointed out as one of the major flaws of Towers of Midnight, even though other books had events take place in different locales without strong indications of when they occur relative to each other, primarily because they did not affect each other. Rand’s epiphany was a turning point and could have been a focus of suspense, but in this book the suspense centers on Perrin and Mat and other players, and discovering whether they survived their own perils while Rand was turning inward and ignoring them.

Confusion could have been reduced by establishing earlier in the story some stronger links to other pivotal moments in other plotlines. Alternatively, a two line preface explaining the chronology to readers would have instantly resolved confusion, but could have been seen as a radical departure from the customary format.

Aiel Wise Ones dismiss the idea of an alliance with the Seanchan, despite the fact that Rand has been working towards that very goal. Morgase learns, finally, that the Forsaken Rahvin was behind her behaviour during her final months as queen. Balwer tells Perrin he is content with his current station in life.

Ituralde’s forces panic and run before the Trolloc onslaught. A Saldaean soldier named Yoeli leads a charge to save Ituralde’s men and bring them inside the city despite orders not to. Once again, people work together, trusting to their own judgment over that of a being placed above them.

As a counterpoint, Gawyn can’t simply do what Egwene wishes, he must follow his own judgment on how to behave. This leads him to stop an assassination attempt on her which was in reality a trap designed to apprehend Mesaana. While he stopped the Seanchan Bloodknives, he inadvertently alerted Mesaana to the trap.

In Caemlyn, Mat plans his entry to the Tower of Ghenjei, and seeks out Birgitte for advice. She tells him a harrowing tale of her own demise in a world where time and space made no sense. Mat’s vulnerability is increased, since in addition to having no foxhead medallion to protect him from the gholam, even his luck offers scant hope of surviving the journey into the Tower of Ghenjei. Unrelated, though adding to the sense of impending doom, Elayne is in trouble, providing the first real cliffhanger ending to a chapter.

Mat encounters some street toughs and battles them in a seemingly pointless scene. Let’s look more closely:

Brooding as he walks the streets, the eerie solitude feels like an opportunity for the gholam to strike. He randomly stumbles upon a robbery, and three toughs leap out to mug him. Mat is relieved to see people instead of something worse.

Mat uses his staff instead of his sword, confounding his first attacker. Mat drops him with one swing and he falls into a second cutpurse, whom Mat quickly knocks out. The third man’s hesitation gives Mat the chance to leap towards him, knock him senseless, then toss a knife into the leader’s throat. This is pure action, but has little meaning, which is why it takes place so quickly.

Mat rambles some nonsense at the man he saved from the muggers, then that man recognizes Mat. Mat disarms him with his scarf, then launches two daggers into the man’s eyes, metaphorically becoming unseen by his opponent. Mat finds a paper with his own face on it, a reminder that Darkfriends and the Forsaken are looking for him. Unmentioned is the fact that wild rumours about him are circulating throughout the city, drawing unwanted attention.

Aside from acting as a reminder of the dangers Mat faces, this short battle offers little beyond a display of Mat’s prowess. Any intimidation created by the reminder about the Forsaken is undone by the astonishing quickness he dispatches his foes with. In this instance, physical action is confused with meaningful action, and the casual way in which Mat kills is contrary to other plotlines in which violence is intently avoided.

Writing Lessons:

Action can’t exist for action’s sake, it should be meaningful to the character or the story.

The Gathering Storm - Chapters 6-9

In this section, several more characters get their first point of view, expanding the cast.

Sanderson’s style involves much more frequent changes in the point of view character. It changes at least every chapter, sometimes several times within a chapter. Shorter, more frequent points of view can make the pace quicker, and keep the reader’s attention only for the time necessary to drive the main points home; they are unlikely to be as analytical when there’s little time to digest what has taken place before jumping to the next locale. Jordan’s longer concentration on one locale for several chapters kept the reader more deeply immersed in the world, allowing time to flesh out more details. Jordan’s pacing was most effective when he’d spend only a few chapters in one locale, but returned to that locale several times in the story, allowing the story to progress. In later books, the pacing often felt off because he might only return to the locale once, leaving plotlines unresolved. This is unlikely with Sanderson’s pacing, which trades depth and detail for action and progress. 

In one example, we get Leane’s 4-page point of view, followed by 3 pages featuring Egwene. Why switch at all? Is anything accomplished by showing Leane when we’ve been following Egwene so closely? The main detail too unseemly for her to tell Egwene is the conditions of her captivity. It also makes sense that Leane would know the names of the two Yellows shielding her, but Egwene would not, yet that detail is of no import. Even the comfort Egwene provides to her is stated rather than explained through internal dialogue. The only other reason I can see is to establish that Leane is a point of view character so that readers don’t find it jarring if the action shifts to her at some later point in the story, but I don’t recall any major role she plays in this book. In short, adding a few pages from Leane’s point of view when Egwene’s would have done as well, was unnecessary.

In fact, Egwene’s point of view is pivotal, since immediately after leaving two sections of the Tower are transposed, an event that greatly affects a later battle. Egwene sees that the floor should have been “nondescript gray tiles”, but unless something really is nondescript, that adjective should not be used. There have been several examples of rooms changing, and being relocated, and the scale seems to be increasing. Will we later see entire pieces of countryside being randomly shuffled about the world? What good would any strategy be when the geography is ever-changing?

Ituralde scores a great victory, but realizes that ever more powerful forces will come for him; Seanchan pride demands no less. Several characters’ pride interferes with their decision-making.

Nynaeve senses a storm coming, but I wonder if she senses Rand’s mood? In earlier books, she acts as his conscience, so it seems plausible this great and terrible storm she senses is related to Rand’s future behaviour. I’d have to go back and see where else she has used this ability, and compare with what Rand was up to.

Perrin is lying in the mud fixing wagons, wondering how to fix his marriage. The metaphor of him lying in the mud as he contemplates this compares well to Faile’s own muddy metaphors, both of them relating to infidelities. Some of the language fits well with the earlier metaphors which implied neither of them was being truthful, even to themselves. In other ways, the language is much franker, seeming to embrace the truth presented on the surface. Perrin puts off his problems with Faile though, to concentrate on the other thing bothering him, which requires seeking out Rand and leading his men. It’s an unsatisfying deviation from the more important problem of Faile.

Siuan walks through the makeshift village the rebels have set up, and some of the descriptive text stands out as distinctly different from similar concepts described in earlier books. Let’s look at what the two different styles convey:

In earlier books, Jordan used examples to illustrate some of the points.

Once she gained the Tower, that second kitchen would be opened again, and the Novices still would need to eat by shifts, something unknown since well before the Trolloc Wars.

Delana would discuss anything, from how they were to find proper clothes for nine hundred and eighty-seven novices to whether Elaida had secret supporters among the sisters, another topic that gave most sisters a case of the prickles.

In Sanderson’s text, the same basic information is given, as a reminder, in the same way that Jordan often did when reintroducing a concept established in an earlier book. But here, the examples are more generic, not attributed to any particular person, not compared to any particular situation. Sanderson’s method is briefer, and conveys the apparent truth of the situation concisely. Jordan’s text was rich with detail and context, but much lengthier, surely requiring more research and consistency checks.

One of the only oddities about the village – if one ignored the fact that there were tents instead of rooms and wooden walkways instead of tiled hallways- was the number of novices. There were hundreds and hundreds. In fact, the number had to be over a thousand now, many more than the Tower had held in recent memory. Once the Aes Sedai were united, novices’ quarters that hadn’t been used in decades would have to be reopened. They might even need the second kitchen.

These novices bustled around in families, and most of the Aes Sedai tried to ignore them. Some did this out of habit; who paid attention to Novices? But others did so out of displeasure. By their estimation, women aged enough to be mothers and grandmothers – indeed, many who were mothers and grandmothers- shouldn’t have been entered into the novice book. But what could be done? Egwene al’Vere, the Amyrlin Seat, had declared that it should happen.

It seems odd that a detail-oriented person such as Siuan would not know more precisely the number of novices, or that the details Egwene reveals about eating in shifts at the kitchens wouldn’t have come from Siuan in the first place. Maybe Egwene learned it during her short stint as a novice?

Writing Lessons:

Each writing style has some trade-offs: detail vs. conciseness, specificity vs. time invested to write. Be aware of the benefits and downsides to the writing style you choose.

Knife of Dreams - Chapters 31-34

In this section, Elayne turns a sour experience into crushing victory!

A professional purse snatcher does what no one else has been able to so far, following Mellar to the Lady Shiaine’s home. Giddy at the prospect of capturing a circle of Darkfriends, two Black Ajah, and giving the boot to Mellar, Elayne hastily assembles the Aes Sedai and Warders to raid the manor before they disperse. Mellar’s treachery is strongly downplayed; his arrest is but a footnote.

Elayne cleverly gets the two Aes Sedai she is unsure of in linked pairs, so they cannot channel to disrupt her plan. The raid goes perfectly, until the unforeseen arrival of four other Black Ajah, seemingly still bent on capturing Elayne as Moghedien ordered so long ago. Shiaine is grateful for the rescue, but is quickly put in her place; these women have their own agenda which has nothing to do with Moridin’s or Shiaine’s. This is not the first time that one evil plot has been undone by another concurrent evil plot, where the villains do not share information or objectives.

Careane is unveiled as Black Ajah, and is stabbed by Vandene. Careane’s treachery is strongly downplayed; her death is also but a footnote, since the immediate menace is the six Black Ajah who will have no trouble killing the remaining Warders and carrying Elayne off. Fortunately, none of them know Traveling. Maintaining control over who can Travel is important for several plotlines, and devising ways to keep it secret from the general population of channelers and Mat’s group, while simultaneously allowing other heroes to make liberal use of it must have required intricate planning on the author’s part. Be careful of the tools you give your heroes, because they may make life too easy for them.

Birgitte responds correctly to Elayne’s capture and the death of the Warders. She goes for the only help capable of stopping channelers: other channelers. Birgitte appeals to the Sea Folk’s sense of self-interest, and the Black Ajah are captured and Elayne freed. In minutes, they had destroyed several hundred soldiers, providing yet another example of the escalation of the battles and their outcomes. Obviously, the Last Battle will involve large numbers of channelers, and the value of soldiers will be much less than in traditional warfare.

Birgitte had been forced to give away a number of soldiers to Dyelin to defend the city gates, which made a big difference in the city’s defense, but little difference in Elayne’s rescue which depended on the One Power. With the city under attack from one of Elayne’s rivals for the throne, she Travels into position and catches them between the city walls and her army. It is enough to win, yet the thin margin of victory could have gone the other way several times.

Elsewhere, Karede divines Mat’s plan, and moves to intercept him, setting up another tense conflict where small chance-driven events may make the difference between victory and defeat.

Robert Jordan has a particular way with his sentence structure, often crafting lengthy sentences filled with descriptions, information, the character’s personal views, symbolism, and inference. Since I’m nearing the end of the books he wrote himself, it’s long past time to study these more closely.

Just  two of the mirrored stand-lamps were lit, six flames filling the sitting room with a dim light and the scent of lilies – so much of the lamp oil had gone bad that it was always perfumed, now – but a crackling fire on the hearth was beginning to take away some of the early hour’s coolness.

In this sentence, the room’s temperature, odour, and lighting are described, establishing a mood. There are links to other ideas and plotlines: the Dark One’s touch, Elayne working at early hours of the morning, insufficient supplies to meet needs. Elayne’s situation is symbolized, she can hardly shed light on the solution to her problems, but another source will give her what she needs. So many things conveyed with just one sentence.

Gliding to one of the carved sideboards, she wrinkled her nose at the silver pitcher holding goat’s milk and poured herself a cup of dark wine before taking a chair across from Elayne.

In this sentence, the first part might have been dropped but leave the entire meaning intact. Instead of breaking the sentence into smaller parts, Jordan links them together as a complete sequence of related events. He does it again with the next sentence:

Deni made a move as if to try dragging her out, but Elayne shook her head.

In this case, an action is begun, another is contemplated, and then both are negated. Three actions in one short sentence.

The gag, a dirty piece of rag with a vile, oily taste, tied so tightly that it dug into the corners of her mouth, had been meant to keep her from shouting for help at the gates.

This is not simply a description of her gag, but has added links to explain her captor’s attitude (tightness of gag), and the reason why she has a gag in her mouth, which will lead to an explanation of Elayne’s own strategy.

At last, however, even the most diehard began shedding weapons and armor, and if not every voice cried for quarter, the roar was still thunderous.

Here, large scale events are summarized with a quick series of events. The words ‘at last’ convey Elayne’s hopes as well as the finality of the situation. Using words like ‘roar’, ‘thunderous’, and ‘every’ conveys the large scale of their surrender. Describing the actions of many through the actions of few, either by making them representative, or extraordinary, allows the entire scene to be condensed.

Writing Lessons:

Give longer descriptive passages more weight and interest by linking the ideas and actions within them.

Crossroads of Twilight - Chapters 13-14

In this section, much happens, but Elayne accomplishes little.

These are the fourth and fifth chapters in this book dedicated to Elayne and Caemlyn. Elayne reminds her friends that she has to take the long view. Even if she is trying to gain the throne, she cannot set aside the work that needs to be done to prepare the queendom for the Last Battle. Her goal is not simply to win the contest for the throne, but to win the support of the Andoran people for the long term. She makes several seemingly minor decisions throughout this section, none of which have any immediate consequences, but they may have delayed consequences that she will not know the result of until much later, when it is too late to change them. In a typical Mat sequence, the result of his gamble is immediately known, while in Elayne’s version, the dice are thrown and it may be a book or two later before we know how the dice have landed. While this makes sense in the political arena, a delayed payoff creates an expectation that the payoff will be that much more rewarding when it finally comes.

Elayne receives the support of four High Seats, though in truth Dyelin did the legwork and they are siding with Elayne because of loyalty to her mother, or antipathy towards the other claimants. So far, Elayne’s actions or character has not proven particularly relevant in her budding support.

The High Seats are young, naïve, and simplistic. But there is agreement that they are good material to be shaped, some having had good training, others being perceptive, and others being amenable to guidance from Elayne and Dyelin. I cannot escape the perception that Elayne as Queen is meant to embody the Light itself, and many of the judgments she passes on the individual Andorans she meets seem like the Creator choosing out who pleases him best.

Elayne’s two most important servants, the First Clerk and the First Maid, give her reports on the state of affairs in the Palace and the city. They discuss spies in the Palace, which Elayne is pragmatic about. They develop a strategy to counteract the attempted arsons in the city. Most troubling is a report that Arymilla has borrowed so much money from the banks that their only hope of seeing repayment may be to help her to the throne so she can receive enough income to make good on the debts. Other High Seats have vanished, and it is unknown whether they have settled in for the winter or are marching towards Caemlyn, their allegiance yet unknown.

Elayne is subjected to a weave to check the health of her babies, for she learns she has two. A thought is spared for Rand before she begins to fret over the difficulties if they are twin girls, which would present all manner of difficulties for the Succession. True to character.

Merilille has fled with a Sea Folk apprentice, creating another headache for Elayne. It may be that those moments spent in the dressing room or bathing are the only moments when she can be herself and not encumbered by her quest to gain the throne. She keeps many different plates spinning, coming back to each one ever so briefly, but she doesn’t actually get much done. At the end of these five chapters, I’m hard pressed to say what she has accomplished, despite the many things that have happened in her favour or against it. If Elayne is acting as a symbol for the Creator, then not taking a direct hand is appropriate. But even so, failing to do things is a sin that readers do not easily forgive.

Writing Lessons:

Delaying the payoff creates an expectation of a bigger and better payoff.

Winter's Heart - Chapters 8-10

In this section, Elayne is set upon by Darkfriends.

Elayne is trying to embody the ideals that other people look up to. While Perrin and Aram and others all have competing ideals they are seeking to be faithful to, Elayne is such a faith, and she represents a particular form of idealized woman: virginal, queenly, powerful, kindly, generous, beneficent, and brave. Whatever qualities she does not yet have, she will have forced on her by her quest. She reflects I rule Andor, but at times I think Reene Harfor rules me, establishing that the followers exert as much or more control over the relationship as the leaders.

In one inconvenient relationship, further arrangements are made to provide the Sea Folk with teachers. The debate allows for a quick round-up of the Aes Sedai, Elayne’s other guests, and their activities. The damane prisoners are in the care of the Kin. They cannot be released yet for fear they will turn back to their old relationships and try to free the sul’dam. Even the newest damane taken in Tanchico and Toman Head cannot be trusted to make decisions for themselves. The oldest damane Alivia, who must know about Seanchan history from first-hand experience than any official and untrustworthy record, is ready to be set free.

It is disorienting to know the heroines are the three most powerful channelers, only to find better and more powerful channelers among Egwene’s new recruits, the Kin, the Seanchan and the Sea Folk. It is now very muddled as to who is the most powerful, and therefore highest ranking. Under Egwene’s open invitation to channelers, any one of these women could pass the training and be among the top Aes Sedai within a decade. The threat of losing their standing will keep those most powerful women from retiring into the Kin, but a temporary placement would make an effective punishment.

The Kin themselves have begun filtering out of the palace to find their other members who may need help escaping from Seanchan hands. After all the effort to keep the weave for Traveling out of Seanchan hands, the residues Nynaeve will leave behind from each of her Gateways are a very large risk. Did Nynaeve remember to invert the weave each time? Or would she simply insist that she had obviously been careful?

Two of the other Kin have been placed back in novice White and have reasoned out one of three Aes Sedai are Black Ajah. Vandene insists they be kept busy so Nynaeve foists the duty back on Vandene. The others are equally busy teaching Sea folk, keeping the Kin nearby, or working to take the throne.

When the author creates characters, he often has one who epitomizes the class or culture, and then introduces another who rejects that class and culture and who is intent on setting a new direction, turning all conventions on their head. This is particularly effective when he’s also introduced several very minor characters who all embrace the same culture. For example, by naming a half dozen Kinswomen, the reader feels they all share some common traits, but he then pulls forward one difference between them (two of them were runaway novices, while the others were put out of the Tower), and creates tension among them with it. This tension is strong enough to motivate the one or two Kinswomen who are more fully developed characters, and even to shift some of the major characters in a particular direction.

The discovery of alum which can be mined from Elayne’s estates is convenient and contrived. It fixes a major obstacle by allowing Elayne to borrow any money she needs from local banks. The reader’s reaction is likely to be an eye-rolling “oh, sure” instead of any excitement. There really wasn’t any earlier time to introduce this stream of revenue which could have felt less contrived. The best that could have been done instead would be to have her estates historically producing some resource which was useful but not necessary. Then, with the chaos caused by the Dragon breaking the World again, a shortage could have been created which made Elayne’s resource much more valuable, providing the necessary funds but tying her new wealth to an existing plot rather than coming out of thin air. The resource could even have been alum, just with a more believable reason for it to pay for fixing Elayne’s problems.   

The first real action of the book so far is an assassination attempt on Elayne, which is meant to fail. Elayne observes it is an overly complicated plan. What is its end objective? If it was to kill Elayne, they had it already – Hanlon could have kept other guards away while the four assassins finished Elayne. Instead, Shiaine’s man has spent all this effort getting into a position of authority so that Elayne can be killed at a later time, a time of Moridin’s choosing. The problem is that Elayne’s guard is up against future attempts, the forkroot won’t work again, and the convenient timing of the heroic guardsman has created a bit of scrutiny towards him. It may be that Moridin is overly fond of complex plans for no good reason except that it serves the Dark One’s desires. Holding Elayne as a captive may be a prod for Rand, and it is in line with two other previous attempts to capture, not kill, Rand’s girlfriends. 

Arguments among characters add a dose of realism. No one gets along perfectly in real life, even amongst good friends. Whenever Nynaeve, Elayne, Dyelin, Birgitte, and Aviendha have snippy fits, it fits with the reader’s familiarity of such real-life situations. 

Egwene’s only appearance in this book is in a dream, which takes place before her epilogue in the last book. This is not confusing because the epilogue in The Path of Daggers told of a month-long wait before her Travel to Tar Valon. Since a month has not yet passed, and there has been none of the familiar rumours and news indicating her arrival yet, it is simple and intuitive to reason that her appearance takes place within the month-long wait.

Slayer returns, spying on Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve in tel’aran’rhiod, giving Egwene a chance to show off her skilful use of powers in the World of Dreams. With Rand nowhere to be found, Moridin’s agents are lurking near Rand’s allies watching for any clue as to his whereabouts. So much so that three of them are doing the same independently of each other. The Black Ajah will join up with Shiaine at some later point, but it could just as easily have been now. Why not simply congregate the villains and concentrate their efforts? Is it to have a situation like in Ebou Dar where their efforts interfere mildly with each other? Asne’s perspective ends with her warders drawing nearer, but this has no bearing on later events other than to provide the Black Ajah with a bit of muscle. It is frustrating when a tension-building moment doesn’t amount to anything, but in this case there is enough other Black Ajah tension that pans out the reader is likely to forget it amongst the rest.

Writing Lessons:

Plots which are overly complex, or overly simple and contrived, reduce the believability of your story.

The Path of Daggers - Chapters 28-31

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In this section, hidden enemies strike.

Both Rand’s and Elayne’s sections end unspectacularly, which ends the book rather unspectacularly. Both make the same point, which is that the opponents hidden in their midst can pose a sudden threat.

In Elayne’s case, the sudden attack takes place at the end of an otherwise bland series of interactions with her party. Reading through this recital of ordinary events is meant to emphasize the hidden nature of the threat, and show how the Black Ajah behave as normally as anyone else, using their normalcy as cover. The revelation of the Black Ajah is described as just another part of an otherwise ordinary week, provoking no excitement.

The ‘explosion’ Elayne was disturbed by turned out to be simply a runaway Accepted hiding among the Kinswomen. The manner in which she is concealed among the Kin is similar to how the Black Ajah hide among trusted friends, but with much less dire consequences. The author builds up this supposed ‘explosion’ and then offhandedly describes discovery of the double murder in an emotionless and logical fashion. This is done to continue disarming the reader’s suspicions so that the attack on Rand in the next chapter can be played for maximum effect.

Dyelin is introduced, and with the events just revealed, Elayne and the reader now can’t help wonder if she is as truthful and loyal as she claims, or whether she is a secret threat.

A long-time foil for the heroes, Carridin, is replaced by Hanlon, just as the captive Black Ajah Ispan has been replaced by the Black sister traveling with Elayne. The advantage gained by knowing who was a Darkfriend has been erased, and the heroes are back where they started with unknown villains in their midst and no clues as to their identity.

The attack on Rand is handled differently than the one on Elayne. The chapter begins with a set-up meant to remind us that everyone serves Rand loyally. The Asha’man have been elevated to Rand’s most trusted guardians now that the Maidens’ complaint has them letting anyone in to see Rand. Sorilea brings five Aes Sedai from Elaida’s embassy who have decided to swear fealty to Rand. It is implied that everyone serves Rand. There are no problems apparent, so now he decides to deal with Cadsuane.

Just as he leaves, a subtle reminder that all is not well is given in the form of a single paragraph of the Maidens outside his door. They still disapprove of his actions. And then from out of nowhere, Rand is attacked!

The attack is sudden, violent and abnormal from any previous threat he has faced. There was no warning, no challenge, no duel, just an immense hammer of Power meant to flatten him. He manages to identify his attackers, and defends himself against Dashiva’s next weave with a globe of Power that serves as a metaphor for his situation. The globe will keep out everything than can harm him, but also the things which sustain him. He cannot live that way. Moments later, his attackers have fled, leaving Rand to wander aimlessly through the wreckage looking for someone to fight.

Finally, he finds Morr, an Asha’man who has spontaneously gone mad while guarding Min. In his final encounter with Taim, Rand adds several names to the list of deserters, all men who had been raised and appointed to serve Rand by Taim. When he euthanizes Morr, Rand refuses to cry, saying he has no time for tears, already hardening himself to the perceived weakness of emotion. If he can’t trust those near him, he won’t allow himself  to feel anything for them.

Bizarrely, a few other short points of view end the book. Perrin recruits the prophet to follow him back to Cairhien, but his refusal to Travel using the One Power means long delays. Faile’s kidnapping implies the same. The Pattern offers at least these two reasons to delay Perrin’s return, in case one or the other should fail to keep him in Ghealdan. Lastly, an undetermined number of days in the future, Egwene leads her army to the shores of the Erinin to lay siege to Tar Valon. By including this scene, there is no need to discuss Egwene or the rebels in the next book.

Writing Lessons:

Build up a single paragraph, or pages at a time, to evoke the mood or emotions you want the reader to have.

The Fires of Heaven - Chapters 22-27

In this section, Rand and Siuan each find looming obstacles ahead.

Rand’s camp is attacked by Trollocs, in almost the exact same way as in the last book. This attack was designed by Sammael or someone seeking to implicate him, but was designed to fail. Odds favour that it is meant to draw Rand after him in Illian, as part of the plan hatched between himself, Rahvin, Greendale and Lanfear. The battle provides a bit of traditional action, as opposed to the recent subtler forms of action from Forkroot, discovery by Whitecloaks, or Black Ajah interactions.

Rand also has to commit to his altruistic motives. While he knew for certain that he meant to use the Aiel to peacefully unify the Nations, others did not. They are supposed to save the people they find, not kill them, which is obviously disappointing to a warrior culture. The Aiel who are ready for this radical change are with Rand, those who cannot change from their marauding clan warfare ways go to the Shaido. Despite his best efforts, the Shaido are keeping pace a week ahead of him, burning and pillaging, killing and enslaving.

As with other characters who try to guide Rand, Sorilea starts with the assumption that he must be hard to lead men. Rand is still learning how to be a leader, but he will begin to take such advice all too seriously.

Mat has boundaries given for his new memories: from before the Trolloc Wars to the War of the Hundred Years, a fifteen hundred-year period. Whatever interest this may have for the reader, there has been precious little discussion of centuries-past events in the main text. The Glossary is an important resource for such things, but an author has to weigh the cost of keeping this information outside of the main story. A glossary or other resource saves an info-dump, but now risks the reader flipping away from what they are reading to learn more from the glossary, taking them out of the story and requiring them to get back into it.

Min’s love for Rand provides only a tenuous link to the other storyline, and the main point of using her perspective is to delay the revelation of Siuan’s plan until the last possible moment. Siuan intends to create allies for Rand by influencing the rebel council to choose a new Amyrlin that she can manipulate directly. She has her Amyrlin chosen out already, but that is not yet revealed. Enough of the plan has been revealed that the reader will be interested in what comes next, so details such as that are held in reserve. Siuan implies that she and Logain will be able to lie to convince the rebels that Red Ajah conspired to have Logain proclaim him the Dragon Reborn. Even if Siuan’s plot is exposed, provided word leaks out about Elaida’s supposed role, it will be enough to discredit her and have her pulled down.  

Robert Jordan is reputed to write realistic battle scenes, so I’ll analyze one with Mat and see what I can make of it.

A critical element is to situate the action. The birdcalls tell Mat that the enemy is coming from north and south at the same time. The geography of the camp doesn’t matter so much as the fact that Mat is as far away from Rand as he could be, implying that no help from channelers is forthcoming, and Mat’s tent will be one of the first to be attacked. This is easily understood by the reader.

A short description of the preparation and equipment allows readers to picture the warrior and demonstrate a sense of urgency: Mat has his black spear and takes the time to put on his medallion because he is cautious of Forsaken.  Melindhra went naked into battle.

Before describing the outside scene, a Trolloc attacks Mat. A few words describe unpreparedness: he had no time, before he was completely out, brushed his hair, and threw himself. The paragraph ends with a word describing preparedness: with the spear ready. In three sentences, he has conveyed that although caught off guard, Mat has overcome the situation and is in control.

The enemy Trolloc is described in fearsome detail. It snarls, lunges, howls. Mat spins, knocks, thrusts. Its armor parts, it folds, cries. Mat pulls, dodges. The verbs describing Mat’s actions are packed with visual imagery and motion, telling readers that he is more agile and nimble than his opponents.

The immediate threat gone, the surrounding scene is described, situating Mat. Aiel are winning against Darkfriends and Trollocs.

Mat’s personal stake in the battle is revealed: He wants no part of battles; he wants to gamble and chase women. He blames Rand for his situation.

A third Trolloc, fearsomely described again, is casually dispatched. A Myrddraal faces him, having just killed two Aiel at once. The hierarchy of fighters has been established. Darkfriends are weak. Trollocs are a bit weaker than Aiel. Mat kills a Trolloc at a time with ease. A Myrddraal kills two Aiel at a time with ease. Mat is now faced with a foe that is his match or better.

The Myrddraal’s fear inducing gaze is described, and even Aiel acknowledge its effects. Mat roars and charges towards it.

The Myrddraal’s dark-forged sword deals festering wounds that can kill. Moiraine might be able to heal it, if she were near. Mat launches an all-out offensive.

Defending against it gives the Myrddraal the advantage, so Mat attacks with an intensity to keep the Myrddraal from having a chance to nick him with its blade. Any other random Shadowspawn could stab Mat from behind. Mat’s strategy is succinctly described, so that the reader knows the purpose behind the actions. The order in which it is shown is first to tell what action Mat is taking, and while the reader is surprised and excited at the prospect of the fight, the purpose fills the reader with understanding and a sense that Mat has the upper hand and is in control of the battle.

The battle is a draw, Mat can’t hit it, but it can’t stop defending either. Mat struck. Its hand flew away. Mat sliced, did not stop, thrust, cut, again. Mat steps away. It thrashes, flails, spills its blood. Mat’s verbs are controlled deliberate actions; the Myrddraal’s verbs are uncontrolled, desperate, reactive.

This battle description was structured to give the reader a certain impression of Mat, and to build up towards the battle with the Myrddraal.

Writing Lessons:

Describe where the action is happening as well as the action itself. The location is not simply the geography but is relative to other important things such as allies, healing, objective, or object.

The Shadow Rising - Chapters 51-54

In this section, the heroes are taking charge of the situation.

In past books, the inexperience of the heroes was evident in the before last section. Always the odds were stacked against them and only a desperate effort to reach out and use the magic object (Eye of the World, Horn of Valere, Callandor) allowed them to win. Events happened to the Heroes but they were not something that could be controlled, only endured and overcome. In The Shadow Rising, all three stories have a new element, in that the heroes are actively planning and carrying out those plans to overcome the obstacles. Rand was last seen chuckling over his suspicions and hopeful that his plan to recruit the Aiel would work. Nynaeve and Elayne work out a plan to not only enter the Panarch’s Palace but to start riots to cover their escape. Perrin may be outnumbered, but he’s getting Faile out of danger, and managed to get Slayer out of the way by thinking. Nynaeve already showed this kind of maturity and foresight, but for the others it is a welcome development. They may make mistakes, but those are a result of taking action.

It’s not exactly clear why the Black Ajah haven’t been able to find the object they are looking for. The Seal on the Dark One’s prison was hidden by Moghedien, but the black bracelets were in plain sight. How did they know they could find something in Tanchico, and why didn’t they have a description of it? They correctly reasoned that it is a ter’angreal, and they were able to guess that it should be in the exhibition room or the Panarch’s collection, so why not just scoop up anything that might be a ter’angreal? I suppose they were waiting on Eldrith to finish her research to make sure they got the right item, since they wouldn’t want to look like fools when they presented their prize. Still, their information about where to look and what the ter’angreal does is very specific, while its shape and description are not. One of the Forsaken must have found a fragment of information that was incomplete enough that field work was needed to figure it out, if it was even possible. Forsaken don’t get their hands dirty, except Moghedien, so the task is delegated to the Black Ajah.

Birgitte can’t figure out why she is talking to Nynaeve or Perrin. It is simple: The Pattern needs to give some highly knowledgeable insight to the Heroes, which requires releasing a Hero of the Horn from the precepts, and possibly changing the very identity they’ve had for countless reincarnations. Throwing Birgitte under the wagon wheels, as it were. It might have been all part of the Pattern, but it also feels like desperation.

Birgitte gives some insight about Tel’aran’rhiod. Existing in Tel’aran’rhiod as a dead Hero makes her more vulnerable, because she is all there. The admonition against being in Tel’aran’rhiod too strongly makes a little more sense. Your very being can be affected if you are in Tel’aran’rhiod in the flesh. Others can do more than change your clothing or your braids, they can change you. Entering as Egwene and the Wise Ones do, with a firm footing in the waking world, reduces that vulnerability. The only major confrontation at the end of this book in Tel’aran’rhiod is Perrin confronting Slayer, Nynaeve only observes. This is a switch from earlier books, but Tel’aran’rhiod still plays an important part.

Moghedien doesn’t know how Nynaeve found the bracelets. Does she not know about using Need in Tel’aran’rhiod? Are Wise Ones the only ones who have figured this out? Isn’t Moghedien the best at using Tel’aran’rhiod? Is she just assuming Nynaeve can’t enter the World of Dreams? Are Darkfriends somehow unable to use Need? Since a number of the Forsaken have been entering Rand’s dreams, they must be able to use some of Tel’aran’rhiod’s properties to learn about Rand and their enemies.

Nynaeve is as powerful as Moghedien, but this equality might only apply to their strength with Spirit. Moghedien could be much more powerful in other of the Five Powers, or in overall strength.

Nynaeve and Elayne must have been delusional if they thought no one would be hurt by the riots they instigate. Elayne rationalizes it beautifully, as a ruler might, by inferring that the citizens of Tanchico are aiding in the battle against the Dark One, whether they know it or not, whether they want to or not. A ruler’s whims come first; Elayne’s whims are presented as necessary for the sake of the world. It’s as slippery slope, Elayne.

Perrin came to the Two Rivers to die. Despite his best efforts, that will still happen, and where he couldn’t get Faile out of harm’s way before, now he does, by agreeing to marry her. In many ways, the initial situation from the beginning of his quest has not changed, except for being killed by Trollocs instead of Whitecloaks.

I used Perrin’s wedding vows at my own wedding. Not obsessed with the series at all.

Slayer’s identity isn’t stated directly, but the mystery is nicely closed up with a comparison that even if they have the same inhuman smell, Slayer looks like Lan, Luc looks like Rand. There is not much more that could be said without revealing how they became a combined person, and that mystery is meant to be resolved in the future, not now. Based on Birgitte’s information and the fact that Slayer operates in Tel’aran’rhiod, one way these two people may have been combined into one is if it was done in Tel’aran’rhiod, where what you imagine becomes reality.

Writing Lessons:

Don’t let events simply happen to your characters; have them take actions, make decisions, do things.

The Eye of the World - Chapters 48-53

In this final section, enemies more powerful and numerous than any seen before are faced and defeated.

In the last act of a story, the stakes are typically raised significantly. Any part that wasn’t full of action, was full of revelation. In terms of heightened danger, Rand once fled Trollocs, and now trounces a Trolloc army. He ran from lone Myrddraal, and now vaporizes a handful of them.  The group clashes with living trees and deformed blight-creatures. Strange new foes like worms and Forsaken are encountered.  And of course, Ba’alzamon is met on uneven terms that favour Rand for a change.

What makes all this possible is the Eye of the World. We aren’t told what it is until just before the final confrontation. Learning what it is sooner would have made it that much easier to guess that one of the boys, Rand most likely, can use the One Power. There were clues, but most of the build-up around men using the One Power has indicated they must be stopped. The reader has been told that a male channeler is a villain. The first time you read it, some events are perplexing. On a reread (or eight of them) it’s incredibly obvious each of the five (count them) times Rand uses the One Power in desperation, looking for some way to escape. His behavior perfectly matches Moiraine’s description of how girls learn. But we’ve spent the entire book thinking of him as a lucky hero. Now it turns out it was the One Power all along. Many of my complaints about missing a chance to explain the quest, turn out to have been purposefully done to conceal (or not admit) that Rand can use the One Power. This is epic fantasy, and we can all guess that Rand is the Chosen One, even as we play along with the mystery. While the intent is clear to me now, I think without the rousing bits of adventure and excitement, the payoff might not be worth the suspense.

So what is the Eye of the World? One hundred Aes Sedai used their lives to filter the taint away from Saidin, and place it in a well which came to be known as the Eye of the World. Beyond the Power itself, the Eye of the World has protections built in that allow one to channel more than they could unaided, like an angreal. Rand can’t already be at Aginor’s strength, or Ba’alzamon’s, so it must be that. The Eye of the World also is preferentially attuned to the Dragon, otherwise Rand would never have been able to wrest control from Aginor and incinerate him.  The Eye also places knowledge in the mind of the one who uses it. Up until now Rand has instinctively used the Power for simple applications, but is now able to Travel, make a sword of Power, and destroy opponents in various ways. Rand does a lot of spontaneous learning later, usually attributed to Lews Therin’s knowledge. I think the Eye of the World is an equally plausible means of explaining his ability to learn whatever he needs on the spot.

Perhaps most importantly, the Eye of the World overrides Rand’s actions and destroys every creature of Shadow in the vicinity. After broiling Aginor, Rand Travels to Tarwin’s Gap, and sees the forces of Shienar on one side. That is the last time his name appears for two pages, with one exception, after that he is simply called ‘he’. Everything ‘he’ does after, from decimating the Shadowspawn army until ‘he’ arrives in the room of stone faces, is impersonal, and not under his control. The Eye of the World shows him what it can do, and then, as Ba’alzamon confronts him, ‘he’ finds the void. In the void he finds Manetheren, the truth about himself, and free of doubt, Rand is now in full control.  

The use of doubt as a tool of Ba’alzamon and the enemy of willpower is well demonstrated. Ba’alzamon lies, exaggerates, takes undue credit, and dismisses every choice or conclusion Rand would make on his own, but for one: the choice to serve him. Everything he says could be true, yet Rand decides to trust himself instead of accepting that doubt back into his heart. His steadfast refusal to give in through all his trials has finally given him the Power to destroy those doubts for good, in the person of Ba’alzamon.  

The exception for Rand’s name appearing in the Tarwin’s Gap sequence is when the ALL CAPS voice speaks. We are told that it’s not Rand’s thought, but it is like a thought booming in his head. Whether it’s the voice of those who programmed the Eye of the World, or the voice of the Creator itself, it seeks a condition that is not met. It is not here, at Tarwin’s Gap. The Horn? The Dragon banner? Something else? It seems fairly certain that the Eye of the World was intended to be used at the Last Battle. With the condition not met, the voice packs up and leaves, giving Rand one last bit of help by sending him to the room of stone faces. Will the voice come back in A Memory of Light? Or is mankind on its own now, waiting for the Chosen One to do what must be done, if he so chooses?

Is the room of stone faces in the World of Dreams? Grudgingly, I must say that evidence indicates it is. How Rand manages to get there, leave there, and whether he was there in the flesh, is unclear. The Eye of the World drew him back when it ran dry?

As the group rode into the Blight, I couldn’t help but feel this was the end of Lan’s lifelong quest, and of his life. He has spurned Nynaeve, he alone has not yet passed the torch to the Two Rivers ‘sheepherders’, he can save Shienar to atone for surviving the end of Malkier, he wants to die fighting the Shadow, he has fulfilled his oaths to Moiraine. There seemed to be many reasons to believe he was a goner. As a blank canvas through much of the story, his origin and the choices he must make as Shienar faces destruction still pull at the heartstrings. Moiraine and Lan’s quest, begun in New Spring, partially ends here as they leave an empowered Rand free to go where he pleases.

The Blight is a bizarre ecosystem, where everything exists to kill each other. The Dark One really hates life. How does anything live there at all? They must spawn by the thousands, like insects or frogs. Or Trollocs. There’s no other way to keep that many living things around, is there?

The Green Man would have been a great resource to tell us about the Age of Legends, despite only being reliable for context, not facts. He gives some obscure clues about the Aiel origin and Wolfbrothers.

Egwene and Nynaeve’s enthusiasm about feeling Moiraine channel reveals their thoughts of the future in Tar Valon. Egwene is eager, Nynaeve is cautious and considering.

Nynaeve has more reason to be antagonistic towards Moiraine. Lan hardly knows which way to jump. Their budding romance was subdued enough that a reader hardly notices it, even on a reread. That may be intentional so as to not detract too much from Rand and Egwene, whose romance began uncertainly, and is ending a bit more certainly.

Sensing Mat’s dagger appears to be how the Forsaken found the Eye of the World. Is Shadar Logoth and Mordeth their ‘old friend’ because it betrayed Manetheren, even while it opposed the Shadow?

Almost the first words out of Aginor's mouth were to reveal that the Forsaken do not get along and will try to undercut one another. Aginor and Balthamel were mentioned by name earlier, but with little other context than they were powerful male Aes Sedai who serve the Dark One, and their names are used to frighten children. The confrontation with them was exciting enough to overcome their seemingly random appearance. A lot more could have been done to build them up. See my post on the Big White Book Chapters 2-5 for an awesome back story that is completely left out of this book. http://greatlordofthedark.blogspot.com/2012/01/big-white-book-world-of-robert-jordans_02.html

Writing Lessons:

Keep building up the thematic elements that are most important to your story, consistently throughout the story.

The Eye of the World - Chapters 44-47

This section is a time for revelations, and a slight pause before the final battle!

Moiraine finally learns and reveals how all those Trollocs were moving through the Southlands via the Ways. She also reveals what she has learned about Ba’alzamon from a bizarrely changed Padan Fain. Ba’alzamon’s abilities are increasing, first bringing Fain to Shadar Logoth and transforming him into a hound of Darkness, then to appear in Darkfriend dreams, then in anyone’s dreams, and finally send a flickering image of himself to his troops in the field. With this information, Moiraine’s bizarre hunch to travel to Shienar seems to have paid off. Just how badly are the seals on the Dark One’s prison failing? How much time is left? We’ll know soon.

Padan Fain is discovered to be a Darkfriend of the highest order, and of the foulest behavior. He claims to want to come back to the Light, but can he? We see few enough examples of repentant Darkfriends. Will this be a theme in A Memory of Light? I could see a few possible candidates to play such a role.

Rand, Mat, and Perrin are finally accepted as men, not boys. Once Moiraine reveals the role they are to play at the Eye of the World, even Agelmar concedes that his soldiers are but a diversion to protect them as they fight the true battle. They were young at the beginning, hardly fit to be let off mother’s apron strings, but I was still a bit surprised when Moiraine passes the torch of responsibility from herself to them. Rand catches on that although she is saying she needs them because they are ta’veren, the battle will involve the One Power, which implies one of the men might use it.

The journey through the Ways is surprisingly metaphorical. The heroes, still boys, passed from the land of their childhood through a timeless land of darkness and confusion, and emerge as men in a land of duty and war, ready to carry responsibility for others on their shoulders, ready to go into battle and oppose the Dark One.

In the Ways, Rand and Egwene have their flirtations with others revealed. For perhaps the only time ever, Egwene loses an exchange. Dancing with Aram was like flying with a bird.

The pledge made in Lan’s name in the cradle is strongly reminiscent of the Aiel scream of defiance that Loial told Rand about. Again, we are told that opposing the Dark One is not a matter of Power, but of will.  

Moiraine wonders who is controlling the weave of the Pattern, is it the Creator or the Dark One? This is particularly interesting when applied to servants of the Shadow. The Pattern could use its corrective ability to stop anyone from ever joining the Dark One. So either it doesn’t mind, or knowledge of the Dark One’s mere existence allows people to voluntarily join him, and by whatever connection to the Dark One they make, the Pattern loses the ability to affect them directly. The Dark One’s influence acts as a shield of sorts, allowing his creatures to ‘snip threads’ and limit the Pattern’s ability to auto-correct. The question remains, are Darkfriends and Forsaken agents of the Pattern, of the Dark One, or both?

Apparently many Trollocs speak human tongue. They talked so Fain could understand, arguing about the best way to cook him. Narg not special.

Fain had problems because the boys were separated and he was still compelled to seek out all three of them.  Will this situation persist? The three of them will spend scant time together, which would affect Fain’s ability to track them down. The fires of Ba’alzamon burned him whenever he tried to stop, he couldn’t stop to eat, he rested only when he fell from exhaustion. Will he be able to focus on just one of them? Will his secret encounter with Mordeth affect this compulsion? It seems he manages some control over this compulsion in the future books.

As an example of how an action sequence is built up, I’ve analyzed the journey through the Ways. With use of tabs, maybe we can visually see the increase in tension as the ideas are presented and the scene plays out. Tension increases as entries are pushed to the right by the bright orange boxes, see the link:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AofJmajj1aXydDljYnBsQWc0ZnBQZzIwMjhJQTlkaGc

Writing lessons:

Action sequences have rhythms, notching tension up and down is part of building up the feeling of action and danger.