A Memory of Light - Chapter 37 - Part 2

In this section, the heroes suffer setbacks and losses.

Deep in the Blasted Lands, on the approach to Shayol Ghul, Faile discovers the village supplying the Shadow’s armies.

Perrin awakens to find hours have passed and he is still weak from his ordeal. The rationing of healing for even heroes of his stature indicates how poorly the battle is going. Perrin insists Faile is alive even though her caravan vanished in a bubble of evil. As well he might, for the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, and the Horn must be at the Last Battle. Since nothing guarantees she is still the one carrying it, the scene still plays nicely as a point of faith, as opposed to counting on divine providence.

Androl and Pevara flirt as they make plans to find Taim. They sit on a hillside looking down on fields where nothing grows, surrounded by dead trees. Androl feels that mirth and love have a place even in the face of such desolation, perhaps it is even the best place to have them so they can build something up.

Rhuarc stalks the valley of Thakan’dar, killing Trollocs and red veils until Hessalam finds him. He looked up and someone beautiful stepped through the storm to inspect him. She had wonderful eyes, though the two were offset from one another. He’d never before realized how horribly balanced everyone else’s eyes were. Thinking of it nauseated him. And all other women had too much hair on their heads. This creature, with thinning hair, was far more marvelous.

The first thoughts are portrayed neutrally as though they could be Rhuarc’s or a narrator’s. The second sentence shows a slight resistance, as Rhuarc is still able to describe the offset eyes in a neutral, slightly pejorative manner. By the third sentence, Rhuarc is well and truly her creature, comparing her to all other women, with not even a thought of his wives, even to dismiss them. His memory of them is completely overwhelmed by his immediate need to please Hessalam. Rhuarc’s conversion jabs the reader with the speed and totality of his change of allegiance, undercutting the positive emotions displayed in the earlier sections with Perrin, Androl and Pevara.

Mirroring this example of good things turning suddenly bad, Rand weaves a world where all is well, and finds it overtaken by the Dark One very quickly. THESE PEOPLE ARE MINE NOW. I WILL TAKE THEM. The Dark One goads Rand with uncharacteristic explanations to point out the flaws in his creation, and attacks Rand when he wavers slightly. IT IS NOT ENOUGH, AND WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. YOUR DREAM IS FLAWED. YOUR DREAM IS A LIE. I AM THE ONLY HONESTY YOUR WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.

Whatever hope came from Rand’s triumphant dismissal of the Dark One’s reality is now seriously undermined. It is good that this pivotal confrontation not end too easily or quickly, and with the Dark One taking the upper hand, things once gain look bleak for Rand. At least readers expect a second round of battle. It is another stroke of genius to have this confrontation rely on character and imagination instead of ability with the One Power. Outside of the Pattern, weaving reality into being, Rand is more powerful than he ever was as a mere channeler.

Silviana offers to take Egwene’s bond so that she doesn’t suffer from his death during the Last Battle. Egwene defends keeping the bond, a link of love and trust that she fought hard to create. She believes the importance of her role will be enough to see her through his loss, but she nonetheless hurries to try rescue him.

Birgitte describes Gaidal in a way that makes her loss poignant, and relates directly to what happens when a loved one or warder is lost. Discussion of the deep personal nature of the loss adds a lot of emotional intensity to the story.  Readers have seen several supporting characters killed or destroyed, and forcing the reader to contemplate what those losses mean to the main characters heightens the tension over which of them may perish. The reader is being primed to feel the losses as deeply and personally as the characters will.

Galad receives orders and Mat’s medallion. He is to kill as many channelers as possible. Bryne arrives searching out Gawyn.

Mat is excited about playing in the highest stakes game ever. Having previously stated that both Mat and Demandred are master generals and master gamblers, the effect is reinforced with their mutual admiration for each other’s talents. This saves the author much trouble in actually conceiving of brilliant battlefield tactics, as the impression of skill can be conveyed far more convincingly than the skill itself.

Logain is given permission to seek out Taim. Mat looks for a good reason to fake a rift between himself and Tuon. He is not convinced Tuon’s safety is a good enough reason to pick a fight, yet his luck intervenes and a band of Gray Men and Sharan channelers makes Tuon’s point admirably. Having given away his medallion, the stakes are suddenly higher for Mat.

Min saves Tuon with the help of Siuan who dies in the effort. Siuan’s almost last words under pressure reveal her character, one reminiscent of the people of Manetheren: “Whatever you think you did, the viewing has not been accomplished yet, It’s still there.”

Siuan stood frozen for a moment. “Cauthon is in danger.”

“But—“

“I don’t care, girl!” Nearby, the ground trembled with the force of the One Power. The damane were fighting back. “If Cauthon falls, this battle is lost! I don’t care if we both die from this. We must help. Move!”

Egwene tries desperately to reach Gawyn in time.

Demandred considers how to defeat Mat, and opts to drag things out, so as to avoid committing himself to a potential trap and to maintain full control of the battle and his eventual confrontation with Rand. Demandred’s girlfriend Shendla is devious, capable, powerful, but not enough to change his heart. “I would cast it all away,” he said, looking into her eyes. “Everything for a chance at Lews Therin.” Demandred considers whether he could change, given the new feelings budding with him. This is the third Forsaken given an option of redemption in this book. Surely, readers think, the author wouldn’t show three such situations unless at least one of them will take it? The very fact that three options were presented implies that an option will be chosen, creating an expectation for the author to fulfill or surprise readers with. Precious insight into the twisted mind of this opponent creates interest and excitement. Will Demandred get his wish to confront Rand? Will he find out Rand isn’t coming and crush Mat? Many tantalizing possibilities are made available with a short jaunt into Demandred’s thoughts.

The M’Hael is admonished by Demandred and is assigned a specific task of confronting the Aes Sedai.

The Dark One shows Rand the fighting. I WILL WIN EVENTUALLY, ADVERSARY. WATCH THEM SCREAM. WATCH THEM DIE.

THE DEAD ARE MINE.

 “Lies,” Rand said.

NO. I WILL SHOW YOU.

Juilin fights and keeps on fighting. His uncertainty about what to do other than keep resisting mirrors Rand’s predicament.

Androl and Pevara in disguise are able to learn Taim’s whereabouts from Demandred. This scene would have lacked some credibility without having seen Demandred just before, so that readers are already familiar with his whereabouts and state of mind. Demandred’s ability to detect Gawyn wreathed in shadows doesn’t extend to an inverted Mask of Mirrors. Demandred is too preoccupied to notice if whipping Androl’s cheek breaks reveals the disguise. Androl points out that even Trollocs battle in shifts, a reality shown earlier with Lan, yet unexpected here as the battle rages. If Mat’s armies are doing the same, it hasn’t been shown because it would detract from the perception that every last person is needed. It is more difficult to portray dire need when a third of your army is sleeping and another third is in reserve. The fact that the Trollocs can afford to do this demonstrates how badly the good guys are outnumbered.

Galad has a number of plans which he signals to his men by holding up a number of fingers. Memorizing a handful of plans may not be too difficult, but do men remember them under the pressure of battle? It seems risky given that they would have had under an hour to develop the plans.    

Galad finds Gawyn as he dies and learns Rand is his brother. Gawyn’s extraordinary survival so far is explained by his Warder bond, another fantastic invention that gives the author a lot of leeway to make events play out as needed. Galad is motivated by his brother’s loss, and maybe by his newfound brother’s existence, to seek out and destroy Demandred. He is a better swordsman than Gawyn was, and has a medallion to negate Demandred’s channeling, and he’s taken down several channelers easily, and his desire for vengeance seems so right that his victory feels fairly certain.

Egwene feels the crippling loss of her Warder. A short amount of text is dedicated to this, for the good reason that every character in sequence is building up emotions of worry, frustration, fatigue, and loss. Each character’s point of view not only describes their own situation, but builds up to or builds on the points of view presented before and after. The rhythm of the Last Battle and Rand’s conflict play off each other emotionally more than they do temporally. Egwene’s realization of her naiveté plays very well with Rand’s imminent next round against the Dark One.

Writing lessons:

Set or maintain the emotions you want from one point of view to the next, using them as parts of a whole, not only to advance plot.

The Gathering Storm - Chapters 43-45

In this section, Rand’s reunion with Hurin is menacing, while Egwene’s reunification of the Tower proceeds much better.

Rand’s attempts to sever all emotional ties hardly finds an obstacle when he meets with Hurin, a follower from long ago. Back then Rand offered Hurin leadership, courage, and hope. Today he threatens Hurin, questions his very identity, and dismisses all of his petty concerns. What could have been a gesture of friendship is interpreted as an attempt to influence Rand, with disastrous consequences. Nynaeve is hardly able to sway Rand’s mood when he begins weaving lightning to send crashing into the Borderlanders’ camp.

When he does relent, it is partly out of a sense that he owes Nynaeve a debt for caring when he can no longer afford to. Similarly to Far Madding, when he reached out for Cadsuane’s help before getting in trouble, Rand reaches out to his conscience, Nynaeve, and gives her a scrap of information, telling her where Perrin is. The other part of his motivation is that he hopes to save time by having Nynaeve reel Perrin back to his side.

Nynaeve brings Perrin’s location to Cadsuane, but it isn’t Perrin she is after, but someone whose relationship with Rand goes back even further than Hurin or Perrin.

It is pointed out that Min’s Viewings are clues as to what the Pattern intends for later, but if the Dark One wins, those plans will be for naught, since the Pattern itself would have been destroyed.  

Egwene goes through some introspection, which is always a danger for authors. Too much self-awareness, or too little, and readers can be knocked out of the story. Egwene’s lasts for almost three pages, and is extremely self-aware, teetering on slipping into the author’s voice instead of her own.

Egwene is bitter over her failure to persuade Siuan not to come to her rescue. She blames her secrecy for allowing Siuan to reach conclusions she would not have, had she known more details of Egwene’s plan. Egwene resolves to share her thoughts more freely in the future, while knowing that there will be some secrets her position demands be kept close. To illustrate her new mindset, the chapter concludes with her revelation to the Sitters of the Black Ajah amongst them. This purging of their ranks could not happen if Egwene didn’t have some reason and means to openly share the contents of Verin’s research with her highest-ranking and most-trusted followers.

Further illustrating the previous lack of communication between Egwene and her closest followers, Egwene must explain to Gawyn that his discomfort was the price she demanded of him. The idea that loved ones must be free and empowered to take their own risks in life has surfaced repeatedly throughout The Wheel of Time, and the truest example of this is the relationship between Warder and Aes Sedai.

Siuan and Bryne’s storyline comes to an end. Siuan has fulfilled her Viewing, as has Bryne, and they are at last united in love and the Warder bond. With Egwene installed on the Amyrlin Seat neither Siuan nor Bryne has anything further to accomplish in relation to the story. It would be nice if they could retire after the Last Battle, but it’s just as plausible that they will get singled out as casualties in the fighting.

The Ajah heads in the White Tower are revealed to have been behind the Young Sitters in both Halls. The Young Sitters didn’t obey as well as expected, and some of the more experienced Sitters turn out to have been serving the Black Ajah, explaining their odd voting record. It’s an anticlimactic resolution to a plotline that had been thrust to the forefront at least twice. The Ajah heads settle on Egwene as their preference for the next Amyrlin, putting the need of the Tower and the world ahead of their own at last, since their earlier efforts conveniently aligned their own interests with the perceived needs of the Tower and the world.  

Egwene’s exposition of Sheriam is handled with quick, curt dialogue. The rapid exchange lures the reader in, allowing them to plow through the text before having time to think, which is exactly the effect that the exchange has on Sheriam. There is hardly even any descriptive text, just curt questions and answers:

“Egwene?” Sheriam asked uncomfortably “I was just –“

Egwene stepped forward. “Are you Black Ajah, Sheriam?”

“What? Of course not!”

“Do you consort with the Forsaken?”

“No!” Sheriam said, glancing to the sides.

“Do you serve the Dark One?”

“No!”

“Have you been released from your oaths?”

“No!”

“Do you have red hair?”

“Of course not, I never –“ She froze.

In this scene, Sheriam is a stand-in for all the Black Ajah, her familiar, kindly, and oft seen face representing the closeness which many of the Aes Sedai will have had with their evil sisters. Were they able to tell all as they marched to the headsman, as Verin was able to? Once they believed their death was imminent, were they able to reveal the Dark One’s secrets? Did they even try to?  Sheriam at least revealed she had been stealing dream ter’angreal, another strong indication that the Dark One doesn’t want the heroes poking around in this realm, although it could still simply be Forsaken jealousy. Did Mesaana arrange for many other ter’angreal to be stolen from the Tower?  Why were she and other Forsaken so worried about getting caught stealing ter’angreal when Egwene was able to waltz in to the storerooms twice? It seems likely there was simply nothing worth stealing, or worth having the Aes Sedai notice was missing, which implies cowardice on the Forsaken’s part, a strong motivator. The sa’angreal Egwene used must nonetheless have been tempting.

Egwene’s purge of the Black Ajah amongst the rebels is not representative of Rand’s handling of the darkness within him. She does however acknowledge the existence of the Black Ajah privately, which is an important step for Rand to take. Only then is she able to excise it, yet Aes Sedai will still behave as Aes Sedai do, even if they do not serve the Shadow. The capacity for evil always remains, and if Egwene has only lightly touched on this truth, Rand will have to deal with it more directly before he can win the Last Battle.

Egwene accepts the Tower’s surrender, and their appeal to her to take the Amyrlin Seat. It’s nowhere near as gripping or powerful as the scene where the Black Ajah amongst the rebels are purged, and feels like a necessary epilogue to Egwene’s plotline, and there’s yet more Egwene to come.

Writing Lessons:

Control the pace of dialogue to keep the reader focused on something, or to keep them from focusing on something.

The Gathering Storm - Chapters 6-9

In this section, several more characters get their first point of view, expanding the cast.

Sanderson’s style involves much more frequent changes in the point of view character. It changes at least every chapter, sometimes several times within a chapter. Shorter, more frequent points of view can make the pace quicker, and keep the reader’s attention only for the time necessary to drive the main points home; they are unlikely to be as analytical when there’s little time to digest what has taken place before jumping to the next locale. Jordan’s longer concentration on one locale for several chapters kept the reader more deeply immersed in the world, allowing time to flesh out more details. Jordan’s pacing was most effective when he’d spend only a few chapters in one locale, but returned to that locale several times in the story, allowing the story to progress. In later books, the pacing often felt off because he might only return to the locale once, leaving plotlines unresolved. This is unlikely with Sanderson’s pacing, which trades depth and detail for action and progress. 

In one example, we get Leane’s 4-page point of view, followed by 3 pages featuring Egwene. Why switch at all? Is anything accomplished by showing Leane when we’ve been following Egwene so closely? The main detail too unseemly for her to tell Egwene is the conditions of her captivity. It also makes sense that Leane would know the names of the two Yellows shielding her, but Egwene would not, yet that detail is of no import. Even the comfort Egwene provides to her is stated rather than explained through internal dialogue. The only other reason I can see is to establish that Leane is a point of view character so that readers don’t find it jarring if the action shifts to her at some later point in the story, but I don’t recall any major role she plays in this book. In short, adding a few pages from Leane’s point of view when Egwene’s would have done as well, was unnecessary.

In fact, Egwene’s point of view is pivotal, since immediately after leaving two sections of the Tower are transposed, an event that greatly affects a later battle. Egwene sees that the floor should have been “nondescript gray tiles”, but unless something really is nondescript, that adjective should not be used. There have been several examples of rooms changing, and being relocated, and the scale seems to be increasing. Will we later see entire pieces of countryside being randomly shuffled about the world? What good would any strategy be when the geography is ever-changing?

Ituralde scores a great victory, but realizes that ever more powerful forces will come for him; Seanchan pride demands no less. Several characters’ pride interferes with their decision-making.

Nynaeve senses a storm coming, but I wonder if she senses Rand’s mood? In earlier books, she acts as his conscience, so it seems plausible this great and terrible storm she senses is related to Rand’s future behaviour. I’d have to go back and see where else she has used this ability, and compare with what Rand was up to.

Perrin is lying in the mud fixing wagons, wondering how to fix his marriage. The metaphor of him lying in the mud as he contemplates this compares well to Faile’s own muddy metaphors, both of them relating to infidelities. Some of the language fits well with the earlier metaphors which implied neither of them was being truthful, even to themselves. In other ways, the language is much franker, seeming to embrace the truth presented on the surface. Perrin puts off his problems with Faile though, to concentrate on the other thing bothering him, which requires seeking out Rand and leading his men. It’s an unsatisfying deviation from the more important problem of Faile.

Siuan walks through the makeshift village the rebels have set up, and some of the descriptive text stands out as distinctly different from similar concepts described in earlier books. Let’s look at what the two different styles convey:

In earlier books, Jordan used examples to illustrate some of the points.

Once she gained the Tower, that second kitchen would be opened again, and the Novices still would need to eat by shifts, something unknown since well before the Trolloc Wars.

Delana would discuss anything, from how they were to find proper clothes for nine hundred and eighty-seven novices to whether Elaida had secret supporters among the sisters, another topic that gave most sisters a case of the prickles.

In Sanderson’s text, the same basic information is given, as a reminder, in the same way that Jordan often did when reintroducing a concept established in an earlier book. But here, the examples are more generic, not attributed to any particular person, not compared to any particular situation. Sanderson’s method is briefer, and conveys the apparent truth of the situation concisely. Jordan’s text was rich with detail and context, but much lengthier, surely requiring more research and consistency checks.

One of the only oddities about the village – if one ignored the fact that there were tents instead of rooms and wooden walkways instead of tiled hallways- was the number of novices. There were hundreds and hundreds. In fact, the number had to be over a thousand now, many more than the Tower had held in recent memory. Once the Aes Sedai were united, novices’ quarters that hadn’t been used in decades would have to be reopened. They might even need the second kitchen.

These novices bustled around in families, and most of the Aes Sedai tried to ignore them. Some did this out of habit; who paid attention to Novices? But others did so out of displeasure. By their estimation, women aged enough to be mothers and grandmothers – indeed, many who were mothers and grandmothers- shouldn’t have been entered into the novice book. But what could be done? Egwene al’Vere, the Amyrlin Seat, had declared that it should happen.

It seems odd that a detail-oriented person such as Siuan would not know more precisely the number of novices, or that the details Egwene reveals about eating in shifts at the kitchens wouldn’t have come from Siuan in the first place. Maybe Egwene learned it during her short stint as a novice?

Writing Lessons:

Each writing style has some trade-offs: detail vs. conciseness, specificity vs. time invested to write. Be aware of the benefits and downsides to the writing style you choose.

The Path of Daggers - Chapters 16-19

In this section, Egwene blindsides the Sitters to take control of the rebels

Egwene’s entire battle with the Hall is resolved through a familiar trick, the last-minute introduction of a rule that the opponents must follow. This turns up frequently in stories, usually with the heroes making a plan just before the final confrontation, but the reader is not told what the plan is until the very moment the trap is revealed, the secret allies name themselves, and they achieve victory. Sometimes the revelation is logical and satisfying, other times it comes out of nowhere and leaves the reader flat. Let’s analyze how well it is pulled off here.

The plan is to get the Hall to vote in favour of declaring war, which will hand a great deal of power to Egwene personally. She will rule by edict, and the Hall will not be able to stymie any of the edicts she puts forward. The Hall must then be sufficiently motivated to declare war, but must not be aware of the implications of that vote. Egwene also has time against her, because the opportunity to declare war can be usurped by one of the Sitters if she does not act quickly enough.

Egwene must:

1 Learn the Law of War

2 Keep the Sitters from learning her plan or the Law of War

3 Call a question of war before time runs out

4 Convince the Sitters to vote in favour of war

Of these, only the second is given to the reader initially, and that only partially, as we see Egwene undertaking actions to accomplish the fourth. An army in the rebels’ path is the catalyst Egwene has been waiting for.

Half of Egwene’s loyal Aes Sedai travel north to meet with the army blocking their way, though we are not told why, while the others spend the morning reminding the rebels of something, and we are again not told what. This creates a sense of anticipation but also frustration, since we have no context for any of the actions taking place.

We also have no context for why Egwene is suddenly reversing her constant insistence they keep moving, except that it relates to her plan. In the camp, Morvrin corners Takima, who is the only Aes Sedai who knows the Law of War, but the relevance is completely lost since there is no context for the confrontation yet. Aran’gar has killed Egwene’s maids, but that has no bearing on the current plot, other than a long-term goal of trying to keep Sheriam and her maid close to Egwene to learn the plan.

Egwene’s anticipation of victory is palpable, yet she feigns meekness for what she hopes is the last time. This is the only part of the plot which depends on her behaviour or character, since with a clear plan laid out she could do the rest in her sleep. This is a weakness of the plot, because it all depends on predetermined rules and events. We get to see events unfold, but it’s not surprising to Egwene, and the potential threat of failure is diminished in our eyes. Romanda and Lelaine’s sparring suggests the time for Egwene’s plan to come to fruition is very soon, before either of them succeeds in undermining the other and taking over the Hall. Added to the list of successful and awful Amyrlins, the one thing the reader does understand are the stakes.

Another sub plot is introduced when Siuan notices too many of the Sitters are too young. The answer only matters in the long-term, but is better introduced now so this sub plot can be delved into immediately in a future book.

The threat of timeliness is introduced when both Lelaine and Romanda learn of the meeting with the army, and deliver ultimatums to Egwene. Egwene clings to her meekness, and the non-specific language used is designed to convince even the reader that she is almost chastened. Then the first surprise is revealed at the last possible moment of the chapter: “Siuan, they couldn’t have handed me the Hall better if I had told them what to do.” This sentence flips the meaning of the entire chapter on its head. All of the negative emotions felt by character and reader are not signs of imminent failure, but of success. At this moment, the reader does not know what is going on specifically, only that it is going the way Egwene wants.

The rebels march towards the Murandians and Andorans, with the showdown looming over them. A possible threat is revealed in the form of Talmanes, leader of a third army who continues to trail the rebels. Once again, we think Egwene is enduring unfair treatment from her hosts on the ice, until we are reminded that her loyal Aes Sedai rushed out here to meet with them before Egwene showed up. When they refuse passage, they are doing Egwene’s bidding, and the whole meeting is a show put on to prod the Hall. The army barring their progress is a secret ally, whose function is to openly doubt the rebels, whether they know it or not.

Once Egwene meets with the nobles and Talmanes, we realize she is unconcerned with their actions, all her attention is on the Hall and keeping them from wresting control from her. As soon as they return to the rebel camp, a meeting of the Hall is called. Siuan and Egwene go over the plan one more time, but we continue to be kept in the dark.

Finally, the moment comes. Egwene hastily calls her question about war before anyone else can speak, and the battle is almost won. Takima has the power to speak up just as Talmanes and the nobles did, but keeps silent. We still don’t know how she can undo Egwene’s power grab, until it is made clear it is her knowledge of the Law of War that matters, a Law we had never heard of up until now. A few short impassioned speeches later, consensus is reached. And with that, Egwene can reveal the power they have just invested her with. The reader is likely pleased that Egwene has pulled a fast one on the Hall, but is less impressed with learning about a Law that must be followed just before it comes into play.

Robert Jordan decided to write this scene as a mystery, keeping the method secret, but revealing the motive, the players, and elements of the plan as it became necessary. Had he discussed the Law of War in any detail earlier, that suspense would have lost, and he would have had to play up some other aspect to keep the reader’s interest. The resolution would have been obvious to the reader and would not sustain their interest. Can you think of another way these chapters could have been handled that maintained the reader’s interest? As a consequence of the mechanism Egwene uses to take power, Jordan was forced to use the least worst of several bad options to try interest the reader, resulting in a narrowly believable resolution with only mild suspense. It is not a strong way to carry the reader through the middle section of the book, but ending with Egwene firmly in charge mitigates the dissatisfaction.

Writing lessons:

Contrived solutions to the character’s problems can lose the reader’s interest. As much as you try to avoid telegraphing the surprises to the reader, also be aware of giving them too little and making them disbelieve the solution you present.

A Crown of Swords - Chapters 9-11

In this section, Egwene slowly builds herself up from nothing

It is always rewarding to watch a character overcome obstacles, to go from having nothing to the top of the heap. In the previous section, Egwene was presented as not even having a reliable chair. We saw her loyal maid, who fetched her two other loyal helpers, a pair of disgraced Aes Sedai who stand very low in the hierarchy. A fourth helper, the prisoner Moghedien, had escaped. Things look grim.

Sheriam is supposed to be Egwene’s helper, but tries to keep Egwene occupied with meaningless tasks while keeping control of the rebels by hoarding information. When Egwene finally learns of a secret that Sheriam and her council kept from the Hall, Egwene begins to blackmail her. Fear of the secret being told before the Hall prompts Sheriam to reveal it to Egwene and Siuan.

Sheriam and her group sent ferrets to the White Tower to spy on Elaida. They supposedly told no one because they were not only afraid of Elaida’s own spies among the rebels, but that the Sitters may be Black Ajah. Ridiculously, they never consider whether any of the ferrets or the 6 members of their council might be either of those (true on both counts).

Rushing to investigate Moghedien’s disappearance, Egwene loses the opportunity to truly corner Sheriam, but it will work out for the best soon. Egwene even risks exposing Siuan and Leane in her haste to find who freed Moghedien. Chesa behaves loyally in fetching them, and they in turn suggest grabbing Theodrin and Faolain to do the real legwork so they can go back to the pretense of being angry at each other.

Areina and Nicola attempt to blackmail Egwene, which she takes great offense to, and pushes back at them with veiled threats that she cannot follow through on. This is meant to show the reader that Egwene’s path to power is riddled with moral peril. She berates them for doing exactly what she is doing. Egwene believes she has better cause, and acknowledges she is willing to pay the price for her actions, since it is avoiding the price that is the immoral act, not the blackmail itself. The fact that they cave in to her shows they do not have the same moral fiber or righteousness, though whether Egwene has the right of it is undetermined.

Egwene regains the moral high ground in discussion with the Wise Ones (see below) and gets the germ of an idea when they suggest getting Aes Sedai to swear fealty to Rand.

Theodrin and Faolain then do something unexpected which gives Egwene power and an idea. They swear fealty to her because they feel Egwene is the person who deserves their pledge of allegiance under the law and in principle. They received offers from Romanda and Lelaine so when they swear to Egwene it is as much by choice as by duty. Egwene confirms they made the right choice when she tells them they are Aes Sedai, but never would be if they kept repeating the denials of other sisters who hold it over them.

Romanda and Lelaine demonstrate how professional Aes Sedai of the highest standing act.

We’re given several pairs of followers to compare over these chapters (Siuan and Leane, Faolain and Theodrin, Areina and Nicola, Romanda and Lelaine), with one more pair yet to come (Myrelle and Nisao), each of whom represents a relationship between the leader and the follower. Some are willing followers, some reluctant, some need bullying, and some see themselves as the leader and Egwene as the follower. This is similar to how the author introduced many of the concepts and cultures in early books, placing them near each other in the story as logical comparisons.

Let’s take a look at a typical Robert Jordan conversation, when Egwene meets the three Wise Ones in Tel’aran’rhiod:

Bair startles Egwene by speaking. 5 lines of discussion about her reaction and how it made her feel and an exaggeration about what will come next. Egwene recovers her poise. Descriptions of the Three Wise Ones.

Melaine mentions Egwene’s reaction, comparing her to a rabbit, again framing both her mood and situation. There is an implication Egwene needs to stop being a rabbit.

Egwene explains about Moghedien. Current relationship between Egwene and Melaine is revealed.

Egwene explains further. She changes her appearance to something more self-possessed.

Bair understands. Her strong character is revealed through her voice, like iron.

They ask for details. Aiel character traits revealed.

Stop, change topic. They get down to business. Sit near Callandor. Describe Callandor’s powers. Describe how weaves are reflected in Tel’aran’rhiod (I guess that means Rand’s dreams of Be’lal holding Callandor were just dreams, not in Tel’aran’rhiod, unless he dreamed himself another copy of it).

Egwene introduces topic of why she was summoned away. She stands, even if she is seen as a supplicant or on trial.

No big deal, says Amys. How old is she anyway (relating to question of aging which will be relevant with the Kin later).

I am the Amyrlin. They seem skeptical.

A comparable situation is described. And shown. The Wise Ones see to the heart of her problem. They do not consider that Egwene’s past lies count any more, since they have been atoned for.

Egwene agrees that she is seen as a figurehead, but she means to change that.

Forget them, come back to us. The Wise Ones extend an invitation.

Egwene already made her choice. But she wants to keep close ties with the Wise Ones.

Good luck. Invitation to join them sitting implies they accept her decision.

Stop, Change topic. Will your Aes Sedai swear fealty to Rand?

They will not. She gives a comparable situation. And shows it. The Wise Ones scoff at the very idea.

They are not like us. Grrrr. Angry Wise Ones. A short history of why that might be.

Egwene will do as she must, Amys says. The other Wise Ones follow her lead. They have tea, symbolizing acceptance of the situation. Egwene compares the Wise Ones to the Aes Sedai in her head, realizing they ARE trying to do the same thing. Only Egwene herself thinks of Rand’s needs first.

Stop, Change topic. What else troubles Egwene?

Rand troubles Egwene. She tries to lighten the mood.

That’s what men do. Melaine’s joke falls flat, implying this is now serious discussion.

Merana must be failing. Egwene reveals her concerns.

A second plea to rejoin the Wise Ones. Egwene rejects it.

I can help him more from here. Egwene is trapped by her own laws and customs.

We’ll take care of any problems between Rand and the Aes Sedai. The Wise Ones are holding back. In doing so, after Egwene has been so open, Egwene’s honour will rise, while their own falls. It is a lie unspoken.

Egwene is doubtful. She detects their evasion.

Bair jokes about how well they will get along.

Merana should have said something. Egwene digs for the truth.

Amys misdirects Egwene.

Amys, promise you won’t stop them from talking. The Wise Ones are uncertain how to keep their secret.

We promise. But they don’t like what it’s doing to their honour.

Egwene thanks them for being truthful. The Wise Ones are now locked in, they have toh. Their appearance changes. Egwene pretends not to notice to save them from more shame.

The Wise ones are silent.

Egwene asks a favour. Don’t tell Rand she is Amyrlin. She doesn’t want Rand interfering or raising tension.

Agreement. They will keep the secret. Egwene is surprised at how quickly they agreed.

Stop, change topic. They talk more, but the Wise Ones are still evasive, revealing tidbits only by accident. Their advice about the Aes Sedai problem is unsound.

Be careful of Moghedien. Egwene goes back to the first topic of discussion.

We can take them down. But they will also be careful.

Friends forever?

Friends forever!

Summary of the discussion: 

Introduction to mood and bad situation.

Topic 1 - Moghedien, Egwene gains honor.

Topic 2 - Egwene is Amyrlin, reminder of mood and bad situation, Egwene gains honour.

Topic 3 – Aes Sedai will not swear fealty to Rand, Egwene gains honour.

Topic 4 – Rand and the Aes Sedai may butt heads, Egwene surpasses the honour of the Wise Ones.

Return to topic 2, then topic 1 – Wise Ones leave, downcast. Egwene is pleased.

This conversation represented a journey for Egwene, pulling herself out of a bad mood to a good one, racking up standing with the Wise Ones, solving problems, and comporting herself in a manner befitting or better than a top tier Wise One. Jordan follows a very structured layout, progressing from small things to big, following the rule of three examples yet again, then moves back down from that pinnacle to the same small things, bringing the discussion full circle. He also uses available cues to plant clues to later plot lines, reveals character, advances plot, shares information among characters, and plants gentle reminders of the broader plot.

Writing Lessons:

Use conversations to advance character development, not just plot.

Lord of Chaos - Chapters 32-37

In this section, the Rebels cement their position by making Egwene their figurehead.

Egwene makes a failed attempt to board the Sea Folk ship. Her bruised ego leads her to antagonize the Sea Folk until she realizes what she has done is foolish. That event gives her an opportunity to consider how keenly she understands ji’e’toh now.  She worries, and then accepts that she will now have to pay the consequences for her past actions. She promises the Aes Sedai to come to Salidar quickly, and despite regrets about leaving the Aiel, she does not hesitate. The corporal punishment she endures is symbolic of the cost to be paid for deceit. The bigger the lie and the longer it is told, the greater the cost. There is incentive to keep your misdeeds small. Egwene had to make this mistake and pay the price so that her later feats in the White Tower as a novice will seem believable. Already small references begin to creep in about her refusal to surrender.

In a simple and partly coincidental plot twist, Rand learns the location of Salidar from that meeting. Eavesdropping is a frequent and useful mechanism to give your characters new knowledge that advances the plot. This time, eavesdropping as a plot device does not feel blatant and out of place, as it did in The Dragon Reborn when Mat overheard Gaebril in Caemlyn’s Royal Palace. Oddly, it is the fact that the location in question is difficult to access combined with Rand’s unique abilities to get there that makes it feel plausible. Two improbabilities combine to make a plausibility. It also helps that a precedent was set when Demandred observed Elayne in Tel’aran’rhiod in Chapter 7.

Mat observes a truth about dealing with the Snakes and Foxes, taken from a board game: you can’t win if you follow the rules. This will turn out to be true both in regards to the rhyme, and also with the rules governing time and space themselves.

Mat is asked to fetch Elayne back to Andor, since Rand hopes to lessen his burdens by passing a couple of nations off to her. It doesn’t work since Elayne contrives to be sent off to Ebou Dar to look for a stash of ter’angreal including one that can correct the weather.

Egwene’s method of travel, in the flesh through Tel’aran’rhiod, was used for evil, is evil, and will cause her to lose part of herself according to the Wise Ones. As inferred by the theory posted yesterday, there has to be some way that this action meets those criteria, even if it hasn’t been made obvious by Rand’s use of it or by Egwene’s use of it this time.

Egwene weaves flows of spirit to create a place where the interior of her tent is so similar to its reflection in Tel’aran’rhiod that there was no difference right there. One was the other. This should be place that is both Tel’aran’rhiod and waking world, a place both malleable and permanent.

Despite being there in the flesh, changes made to herself do not stay when she re-enters the waking world. Changing things in the waking world by altering their reflection in Tel’aran’rhiod should not be impossible when they are one and the same.

Siuan’s plan has come to fruition, she has a new Amyrlin to control, a group of rebels who believes the lies told by Logain and wants to pull Elaida down, and a spot near the center of the action as she runs the eyes and ears. Egwene quickly crushes Siuan’s ideas of manipulation, and sensing a kindred spirit, Siuan pledges to help her become Amyrlin in truth as well as name. Egwene had already started by making small decisions on her own which are questioned by her three factions of advisors. Promoting Elayne and Nynaeve to full sisters places them near the top ranks of Aes Sedai, though it is mitigated by them never having held the Oath Rod or being tested.

Egwene promises to be harsher than Moghedien’s previous captors. She very quickly establishes the rules Moghedien must follow with severe penalties for lying. Again, Egwene’s hardness would seem out of character had we not just seen her embrace the harsher side of Aiel life. Now it simply feels like she is being a Wise One to the Aes Sedai around her, and through sheer force of will and the help of her handful of allies, she is getting the results she expects.

The discovery of Traveling by Egwene opens up many story and plot advancing possibilities, but also introduces the complications of overreliance on it. Rand has only been using it himself in this book, and it is about to get him in big trouble.

Writing Lessons:

Make improbable coincidences more believable by setting up the linkages between them before revealing the coincidence.

Lord of Chaos - Chapters 28-31

In this section, characters good and evil accomplish some goals

Rand reads two letters from the Sea Folk, and brushes them off. This will later allow Elayne to interact with them without having been preceded by Rand, which would have undermined her negotiations with them.

Rand continues to interact with the voice in his head. Lews Therin believes Rand is the voice in his head, which is a powerful means of establishing the voice is real (or the illusion of it).

Sulin’s example explains ji’e’toh a little more. No one can set your punishment or tell you how to meet your obligation; it can only be set and ended by the one undertaking it. Wise Ones do not dispense punishments by force, but by suggestion. If you can’t figure it out yourself, they will set you something awful, but they can’t make you do it except in the way it affects your social standing. This is why they have so much trouble with Shaido Wise Ones, who always push the bounds of acting reasonably. A person’s honour and standing is always in their own hands.

Taim luckily shows up to thwart a Gray Man, the throwaway assassins the Forsaken use to remind Rand they are halfheartedly trying to kill him. Even Rand can see this smacks of a set-up, and it will later be a ‘clue’ pointing to Demandred impersonating Taim. I was an eager proponent of this theory, even joking that obviously Robert Jordan is wrong, Taim IS Demandred. A discussion of this theory is best suited for the end of the book, when Demandred makes his final appearance. In keeping with the theme of trickery and double-dealing, Taim discusses Forsaken in disguise with Rand. But what is the deceit and what is the truth? The author is effectively creating mistrust with Taim’s timely intervention and Lews Therin’s homicidal desire to snuff Taim.

Padan Fain makes a surprise appearance, a reminder that events can get even more complicated quickly. Fain has some creepy interaction with his minions, and some powerful tricks up his sleeve. They could have been called abilities, powers, or a number of other things, but the author chose ‘tricks’, again fitting the theme. We are reminded that Elaida and Niall have been brushed by Fain, and are inherently mistrustful of Rand now. The implication is that whatever we’ve seen Niall plotting, and Valda’s dismay over it, is all a downstream effect of Fain pulling his strings. The implication is that Elaida’s embassy has similar bad intentions towards Rand. Even if the reader already had a strong feeling about this, Fain’s involvement, even from a distance, cranks up the tension over what they will do.

Nynaeve and Elayne are reluctant captors, telling Marigan to say she fell down stairs after Birgitte beats her. They worry they too will act as Birgitte has; they feel such anger and distaste towards Moghedien. It can’t help that they feel convinced Moghedien deserves such treatment. It doesn’t look far from the day when they’ll want to hurt Moghedien.

Nynaeve is not responding to any of her own treatments at the hands of Aes Sedai, which are worse that what Moghedien is receiving, the Birgitte incident aside. Dunking, beating, sleep deprivation and more are what she has been subjected to in an effort to make her channel without seizing the source as a man does. Nynaeve does not surrender, not even to saidar, she must be in control. But she makes her first step towards surrender when she wholeheartedly apologizes to Elayne or her behaviour. She takes her first step towards letting go, and within minutes she has performed a miracle. The idea of the heroes giving up control to win, while the villains ruthlessly try to control everything runs through the whole series. The Way of the Leaf and Aiel fatalism both involve accepting events, while Mordeth, Seanchan and Whitecloaks all seek to control other people. Control vs. acceptance. This mirrors Rand’s later epiphany atop Dragonmount.

Nynaeve heals Logain with a bridge of Fire and Spirit, restoring his power and will to live. Fire and spirit are words that represent desire to live; no wonder it wasn’t done with Earth and Air.

Many Aes Sedai are introduced, some of which will be prominent in later Rebel plotlines including the eighteen Sitters. Their roles are not yet relevant. The causal naming of every sister who passes by has the effect of making the rebel encampment feel like a community.

The effects of healing stilling are immediately revealed: Siuan can still lie, but her title is gone. Also gone is her standing, now that she is among the weakest Aes Sedai. A lot of stock has been put in the amount of the One Power that several heroes can use, yet by the end of Towers of Midnight, we’ll see the tables turned and some of the most powerful will have become the least. For now, Siuan considers it worth the risk of exposing the secret in order to gain foremost position among the Aes Sedai, by title since she can’t by simple Power level. She can’t get either, and is reduced to renewing friendships she tossed aside for the simple favour of accompanying Sheriam to meet Egwene.

Siuan’s old friend Delana is Black Ajah, and is keeping her own Forsaken hidden from the rebels. Aran’gar has made her appearance, and her interest is in guiding the hall. This implies that subtle manipulation from the shadows is the Dark One’s plan. And there are now a Forsaken with each of the Aes Sedai factions.

Valda has misgivings, Niall has a feeling he is compelled to follow, Paitr is hung, and Morgase capitulates. Plotting in the shadows can make for boring reading unless something happens to advance the plot as well. Here, Valda plots with Asunawa, but the event is Morgase signing the treaty, which can have far-reaching consequences.

Let’s analyze the paragraph where Nynaeve is worried about staying in Salidar and surprisingly heals Logain:

Worry about Myrelle keeping back a message from Egwene è the emptiness is small, then vast, as though this small worry could swallow them all, implying danger.

If she could talk to Egwene, she’d have help èwhat about the cut she found in Siuan, real but faint, echoing the feeling that there is a slim hope. Yes, maybe…

She just needs to talk to Egwene, and she will convince Elayne to leave, since Elayne respects her so much è She found the key, something cut, an impression that is the same as in Siuan.  

If I could find her, we would join up, and be together èif she bridges the cut…

The two problems play off each other, and as Nynaeve finds the solution to one in her mind, in parallel she solves the second.

Writing Lessons:

Associate obstacles to each other to make them symbolize each other.

The Fires of Heaven - Chapters 28-32

In this section, several characters find themselves trapped in good circumstances.

Gareth knows he’ll never leave Salidar, but figures he has little to lose now. Gareth’s perspective is entertaining, providing keen insight into the politics and earning respect for the no-nonsense approach while surrounding by schemers. If for some reason readers didn’t take to Siuan, they will take to Gareth in opposition as he makes Siuan clean his boots. Gareth getting the upper hand over the Aes Sedai in his bargaining is fun to watch as well. Gareth has acquired reader’s sympathy by his ill treatment at the hands of Morgase and Rahvin. So long as Morgase, Elayne and Thom remain to remind readers of how things were in Caemlyn before the bad times, Gareth is likely to retain that sympathy.

Min turns the tables on both of them by telling Siuan she must stay near him or they will both die. The most likely reason is that without her cleaning duties to occupy her, her role guiding the rebels would be found out by the villains, and they would put an end to her. Min’s Viewing doesn’t specify a particular occasion, it is a warning against a certain behaviour, -staying away from Gareth for too far or too long- that may create an irreversible situation that ends with her death.

Kadere can’t understand why Isendre can’t seduce Rand. When he learns Isendre’s suspicions that Aviendha got there first, there is nothing left for him but to murder her. Kadere believes that the way to control Rand is through sexual relations with women that Kadere controls.

Rand discovers he is wealthy, possibly as wealthy as any man in the world. Aiel law gives him ownership of 1/50^th of everything in the Stone of Tear, and of the kingdom itself since they surrendered to him. Tairen law doesn’t cover the eventual return of the Dragon Reborn, or any other conqueror who takes over the Stone; it has always been assumed the High Lords would rule forevermore. No one was likely to argue against Rand taking anything he wants, so an imposed limit of 1/50^th is actually in their favour.

Wealth is a dangerous advantage to give a character. Buying off the opposition can offer a way out of many situations, so there always has to be some means of keeping this advantage in check. In Elayne’s case, she is in a remote location where her wealth cannot be used and her title carries the danger of abduction. Moiraine’s letters of rights can allow spies to track her down. Separating the character from the source of their wealth, often making the leave home, is usually sufficient to remove this advantage. Wealth often provokes resentment or other negative emotions in the reader. Most nobles and wealthy people in the series have had unfavourable portrayals. Rand’s earlier instinct was to feed the refugees in Cairhien, which somewhat removes any negative association with the so-called nobility, so readers might assume that his wealth will be put to that purpose.

Rand’s naiveté mirrors my own when I first read this series, never seeing Aviendha’s attraction to him despite the earlier emphasis, and thinking marriage was the only logical outcome. Rand’s later comment reflects all-too familiar entitlement: She can’t really mean never again. This book, more than any of the previous ones has honed in on male-female relationships, since Rand’s love life plays such a pivotal role. The author skillfully captures the good, bad, and humourous sides of relationships.

The Seanchan make a surprise appearance, and Aviendha demonstrates how enemies should be treated. Rand agrees that he needs to be harder.

I’ll analyze a paragraph relating to desperation, when Rand is hauling Aviendha from cold water. Desperation is tricky to portray, it easily veers towards parodying itself.

Got to pull her out. He crawled backward, hauling at her. She was a dead weight, sliding slowly out of the water. Don’t care if the ice scrapes her. Better that than freezing or drowning. Back. Keep moving. If you quit, she dies. Keep moving, burn you! Crawling. Pulling with his legs, pushing with one hand. The other locked in Aviendha’s hair; no time to get a better grip; she could not feel it anyway. You’ve had it easy for too long. Lords kneeling, and gai’shain running to fetch your wine, and Moiraine doing as she’s told. Back. Time to do something yourself, if you still can. Move, you flaming fatherless son of a spavined goat! Keep moving!

The sentences are clipped short, emphasizing action instead of the lengthy wordy sentences we are used to.  The lack of detail in each short sentence creates fear in the reader as they wonder what is happening. The seriousness is belied by certain words: Got to, dead, don’t care, if you quit, she dies, no time, she could not feel it, keep moving, move! Rand makes several choices between bad and worse outcomes: scrapes vs. drowning; freezing vs. getting a better grip; effort vs. quit. The imagery shows slowness and difficulty of movement: crawled, hauled, dead weight, slowly, back, crawling, pushing with one hand, locked, could not feel it. Rand’s building personal turmoil is revealed as he needs to save her, curses himself for fatigue, admonishes himself for having helpers, taunts himself for laziness, and finally lashes out with a long string of curses.

Writing Lessons:

Build up the emotion to show your character’s desperation.

The Fires of Heaven - Chapters 22-27

In this section, Rand and Siuan each find looming obstacles ahead.

Rand’s camp is attacked by Trollocs, in almost the exact same way as in the last book. This attack was designed by Sammael or someone seeking to implicate him, but was designed to fail. Odds favour that it is meant to draw Rand after him in Illian, as part of the plan hatched between himself, Rahvin, Greendale and Lanfear. The battle provides a bit of traditional action, as opposed to the recent subtler forms of action from Forkroot, discovery by Whitecloaks, or Black Ajah interactions.

Rand also has to commit to his altruistic motives. While he knew for certain that he meant to use the Aiel to peacefully unify the Nations, others did not. They are supposed to save the people they find, not kill them, which is obviously disappointing to a warrior culture. The Aiel who are ready for this radical change are with Rand, those who cannot change from their marauding clan warfare ways go to the Shaido. Despite his best efforts, the Shaido are keeping pace a week ahead of him, burning and pillaging, killing and enslaving.

As with other characters who try to guide Rand, Sorilea starts with the assumption that he must be hard to lead men. Rand is still learning how to be a leader, but he will begin to take such advice all too seriously.

Mat has boundaries given for his new memories: from before the Trolloc Wars to the War of the Hundred Years, a fifteen hundred-year period. Whatever interest this may have for the reader, there has been precious little discussion of centuries-past events in the main text. The Glossary is an important resource for such things, but an author has to weigh the cost of keeping this information outside of the main story. A glossary or other resource saves an info-dump, but now risks the reader flipping away from what they are reading to learn more from the glossary, taking them out of the story and requiring them to get back into it.

Min’s love for Rand provides only a tenuous link to the other storyline, and the main point of using her perspective is to delay the revelation of Siuan’s plan until the last possible moment. Siuan intends to create allies for Rand by influencing the rebel council to choose a new Amyrlin that she can manipulate directly. She has her Amyrlin chosen out already, but that is not yet revealed. Enough of the plan has been revealed that the reader will be interested in what comes next, so details such as that are held in reserve. Siuan implies that she and Logain will be able to lie to convince the rebels that Red Ajah conspired to have Logain proclaim him the Dragon Reborn. Even if Siuan’s plot is exposed, provided word leaks out about Elaida’s supposed role, it will be enough to discredit her and have her pulled down.  

Robert Jordan is reputed to write realistic battle scenes, so I’ll analyze one with Mat and see what I can make of it.

A critical element is to situate the action. The birdcalls tell Mat that the enemy is coming from north and south at the same time. The geography of the camp doesn’t matter so much as the fact that Mat is as far away from Rand as he could be, implying that no help from channelers is forthcoming, and Mat’s tent will be one of the first to be attacked. This is easily understood by the reader.

A short description of the preparation and equipment allows readers to picture the warrior and demonstrate a sense of urgency: Mat has his black spear and takes the time to put on his medallion because he is cautious of Forsaken.  Melindhra went naked into battle.

Before describing the outside scene, a Trolloc attacks Mat. A few words describe unpreparedness: he had no time, before he was completely out, brushed his hair, and threw himself. The paragraph ends with a word describing preparedness: with the spear ready. In three sentences, he has conveyed that although caught off guard, Mat has overcome the situation and is in control.

The enemy Trolloc is described in fearsome detail. It snarls, lunges, howls. Mat spins, knocks, thrusts. Its armor parts, it folds, cries. Mat pulls, dodges. The verbs describing Mat’s actions are packed with visual imagery and motion, telling readers that he is more agile and nimble than his opponents.

The immediate threat gone, the surrounding scene is described, situating Mat. Aiel are winning against Darkfriends and Trollocs.

Mat’s personal stake in the battle is revealed: He wants no part of battles; he wants to gamble and chase women. He blames Rand for his situation.

A third Trolloc, fearsomely described again, is casually dispatched. A Myrddraal faces him, having just killed two Aiel at once. The hierarchy of fighters has been established. Darkfriends are weak. Trollocs are a bit weaker than Aiel. Mat kills a Trolloc at a time with ease. A Myrddraal kills two Aiel at a time with ease. Mat is now faced with a foe that is his match or better.

The Myrddraal’s fear inducing gaze is described, and even Aiel acknowledge its effects. Mat roars and charges towards it.

The Myrddraal’s dark-forged sword deals festering wounds that can kill. Moiraine might be able to heal it, if she were near. Mat launches an all-out offensive.

Defending against it gives the Myrddraal the advantage, so Mat attacks with an intensity to keep the Myrddraal from having a chance to nick him with its blade. Any other random Shadowspawn could stab Mat from behind. Mat’s strategy is succinctly described, so that the reader knows the purpose behind the actions. The order in which it is shown is first to tell what action Mat is taking, and while the reader is surprised and excited at the prospect of the fight, the purpose fills the reader with understanding and a sense that Mat has the upper hand and is in control of the battle.

The battle is a draw, Mat can’t hit it, but it can’t stop defending either. Mat struck. Its hand flew away. Mat sliced, did not stop, thrust, cut, again. Mat steps away. It thrashes, flails, spills its blood. Mat’s verbs are controlled deliberate actions; the Myrddraal’s verbs are uncontrolled, desperate, reactive.

This battle description was structured to give the reader a certain impression of Mat, and to build up towards the battle with the Myrddraal.

Writing Lessons:

Describe where the action is happening as well as the action itself. The location is not simply the geography but is relative to other important things such as allies, healing, objective, or object.